I realize that I'm addressing a very small number when I ask, do you semi-intelligent liberals ever tire of being lumped together with morons? And by "morons," I'm referring to the sort of people who have strayed off the reservation and wandered in here of late.
I keep telling liberal, don't even try here. This isn't like anyplace else you've been. First, you have to make sense. And by "sense," I'm not talking about the irrelevant "facts," the logical disconnects, and the outright falsehoods that merit accolades in Liberaland.
Believe me, I understand your problem… you're used to not being challenged, and you think your opinions are valid because so many of your ilk share them. Unfortunately, all opinions aren't created equal, and virtually all of you are in no position to know the difference.
So I tell people flat out that if they choose to post something here, it has to make sense (unless it's a joke, but none of you can really do that). If you state something, it has to be backed by real evidence. And by "real evidence," I don't mean extraneous details or misconstrued observations.
And if you do post, and I don't find it to have merit (99.9% chance), I'm not going to debate you or attempt to state another viewpoint. If you fail in your first attempt – your best attempt – I can't expect you to do better under cross examination. Thus the insults and mocking commence.
Now let me say this on the other hand, I am the most open-minded person you're ever going to disagree with. That means that if you ever do blindside me with a good point, you'll get full credit and humility from me,, the fact that I have never found myself in that position vis-a-vis a liberal notwithstanding.
So if you fail here, and you almost certainly will, instead of being angry with me, take a moment to reassess your thoughts, your positions, your beliefs… and your friends, because none of them have done you a service by agreeing with you all along, even if, or shall I say especially because, they haven't prepared you to face people who actually think on a more or less daily basis – which is an entirely different process from merely stringing thoughts together as (so far) all of you are wont to do.
So if you leave here like Jeff and Lenny thinking you've made your point and that I'm an idiot for not having seen it, you're simply wrong. Let me put it this way… if you leave with me not in agreement, you've failed utterly and you can only safely "argue" with your clan, which of course is no argument at all.
"But Ted, other conservatives are far more decent to me than you," you say? And did they get you to change your position, I ask? Because if they didn't, they've wasted their time, and they may find that fulfilling in ways I can't understand, but what's fun for me is tough love. You either see the light or you don't, and if you don't, at least I'll get some fun out of it, if not by insulting you, then at your "Well I never" attitude, and believe me, your going away thinking I'm the one who's the idiot is very amusing to me since you didn't graduate in the top five percent of even your public school class.
Now I know that despite what I say, someone will think he has a new old point to make, and that he'll get all upset when I'm so "rude" to him, but if my wife can take it, so can you, and she'd be the first to tell you that she's better off because I've caused her to engage in more rigorous thinking, even if it's still against her will.
So over Christmas and New Year's, I hope you take a break from your fellow loons and maybe talk to those conservatives who will entertain your nonsense, but do so with an interest in learning. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you're going to really try not to be the dope you've been all your life.
And the next time you feel the urge to post here. STOP. Organize your thoughts, write them down, refine them over and over, and when you think you've got your comment right, get someone to "peer review" it (OK, not an actual peer… you're probably better off going up to someone at random on the street), And when he signs off and you're all set to post, delete it and go anywhere else. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me. I mean you're a liberal, for God's (oops) sake… and you'll probably always be one… until someone who owns a gun kills you.
It just occurred to me that if all the liberals who are constantly hyperventilating would inhale some CO2, that alone would cure global warming.
The Naked Conservative 
I need the Cliff Notes version, I understand your frustration dealing with the left.
I don't get it.
Thank Allah for the absence of Muslim bashing of late…lol!
Hilarious.You're the one that deems all who disagree with you "morons", "loons". You have already determined in your own mind what constitutes "the reservation", and therefore who is "off it".Your "question" is therefore disingenuous, and has no answer– other than the one you have already come up with.You are so incredibly arrogant– this post is like a fuckin parody i would read on Metafilter. It's that funny. I'm truly amazed at how highly you think of yourself. If you were really that much of a genius, you wouldn't be spending all your time ranting and raving to strangers on the internet about how much of a genius you are. But you love to feel superior– even if it to people you've never met, and never will meet. So keep it up– it obviously makes you happy.And it makes me laugh.
Cliff Note version: If you disagree with Ted, you're an ignorant liberal and he will bury you with ad hominems so he doesn't have to bother refuting you.If you agree with Ted, it's possible he won't mock you but don't hold your breathe. It might just be your turn. If you think I'm off target in this summary, just hang on for 3…..2…..1…..
Well here's another fine mess I've gotten myself into. When I started this thread, how could I ever have thought that instead of intimidating liberals I'd be providing a venue for two idiots to engage in an escalating duel where each attempts to out-stupid the other?
But now Jeff, take heart. If I had to choose right now, you'd win hands down. Take a look at Lenny. He's amazingly thick, wouldn't you say? And yet at the risk of enticing him to attempt to prove me wrong, I want you to know that he's not half as thick as you.
How can I say that, you wonder? Well, who exactly do you think you're talking to? Do you think you're warning someone or merely providing some juicy bit of insight that others can't realize on their own? Or are you just like six-years old and it's Christmas vacation time?
I know what it is, you're so quintessentially liberal that you almost make Lenny seem sane and lucid by comparison. Question: how many times do I have to tell you I won't engage in any discussion with your sort before it sinks in and you realize that you're not a muse, you're a parrot – and you're parroting me, no less… and doing a rather poor imitation if I do say so.
And then as if to demonstrate the value of a liberal's word and commitment weren't you leaving? You've like a ham actor how takes forever to die while everyone else is anxious to get on with the play.
Now since I'm nothing if not compassionate, may I make a suggestion – how about if you sequined slopeheads talk to Hen? He's not your typical liberal (I think he was dropped on his head when young and it turned out to be for the better), and just maybe he can reach you by pointing out what you're actually doing here and that sometimes when people make fun of you, there's a good reason for it.
And Hen, it's OK if you don't get it. I mean you could be Lenny – he didn't get it either, and yet he still laughed.
A-man, which is worse, the sort of bashing I do or the sort of bashing Muslims do? Because I mean did you hear the one about the Imam in Iran who wants to kill women who have poor fashion sense?
And did I just bash again?
Thanks for proving my point. I knew you couldn't resist. I'm nowhere near a liberal, as my liberal friends, relatives and wife could attest. And the only time I've dared disagree with you is on the Time thread. I've posted on previous threads and agreed (roughly) with you on global warming amongst other thing. However, when someone disagrees with you all bets are off. The "stupid liberal" post already starts forming in your head. The same one you've posted here a dozen timesAnother point your ego won't allow you to comprehend is that disagreeing with you does not equate to being wrong or stupid. Unless, of course, you think you're always right and that none of your opinions could possibly be revised by having them challenged. If that's the case, let us know because we all need to start going to church on Sunday if we aren't already. The Second Coming is upon us and we need to get ready. It's funny that you hold up Hen as an example that other liberals who dare enter your blog should follow, but can't even resist comparing her to a retarded guy. It's just a reflex, isn't it?
See all who disagree tremble before your broad vocabulary and acerbic wit! So sad.Such an angry old man! All bile, contempt, and insults. No substance. How many times have you been married? A bet a few. I can't imagine what your life must be like. Working at your shitty job, blaming your unsatisfying life on liberals, the government, immigrants… Resorting to condescending, grandstanding diatribes on your oh-so-important blog here in the internet world to achieve that sense of satisfaction and superiority you so obviously lack in the real world. After a long day at your job that's not good enough, after you drive home in your car that's not nice enough, and after you walk in the door of your house that's not big enough, you can still be the man you wish you were–a big man– here in cyberspace.
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you may be hopeless. You really do think you're playing me when everyone else (other than Lenny) realizes that this whole thread is bait for people who were hungry enough to take it, and the longer you go on, the more sad you're making others feel in this season of joy.\
Let's go to the videotape, shall we?
"I'm nowhere near a liberal, as my liberal friends, relatives and wife could attest."
My response is similar to the one I gave Hen elsewhere – that one of us is wildly mistaken in our conception of "liberal." Your's appears to be where you stand on a scale. mine is about positions absurdly held and how it overshadows how one might otherwise be seen. And in the eyes of some others, I've been where you are with me – one friend-for-life once suddenly branded me a…
I'm sorry, it's been a long time and I forget the term he always used and which I never expected to be the recipient of, but it was like "communist" only more modern in it's conveyance of meaning. If and when it ever comes to me, I'll get back to you.
But he really meant it whereas I just call people liberals where there's some doubt in an effort to arouse any latent ire. It might be juvenile and non-discriminating, but I've found it to be rather effective since "liberal" is such a dirty word, as I've sure you'd agree.
I also called you a liberal because I don't know anything about you. When I get to know you, I'll be better able to target my insults. So why don't you tell me a little about yourself? I understand that you might not be in the mood right now, but think of it this way; calling you a liberal seems to irritate you, so the sooner you open up, the quicker we can get past that particular unpleasantness.
Now here's what really rankled me about your last comment – I had to read it twice because there were that many disparate points to address.
I didn't call you a liberal because you disagreed with me about Time – I called you a liberal because your reasoning was so poor that it was reminiscent of a liberal's – and because your tone screamed liberal.
And yes, I was aware that you hadn't "dared" to disagree with me before, but that didn't mean I didn't feel tension from you, as if prior agreement was grudgingly acknowledged, no doubt because of your feeling that I was arrogant and your desire to be seen as an independent thinker.
I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that disagreeing with me means that I automatically think you're wrong or stupid. It's not automatic. it's just that my evaluation can be so fast that ordinary people can't see it, and I usually know very quickly whether someone is on the right tack and thus whether subsequent argument will have merit. Lot's of people have said and written things have affected and changed my thinking – and not all of them have been brilliant. Plenty of morons have affected my beliefs and opinions, and I think that shows very plainly.
As for revising my opinions, global warming and the income tax come to mind. I mean, I used to be open minded about the possibility that the Earth was heating up to our detriment and that we were affecting and accelerating that. Now, I demand hard evidence and I realize that even if that does come, Gore & Co are still scammers.
And I used to demand that the income tax be replaced with a consumption tax because the income tax is the modern equivalent of slavery, and a consumption tax is the only fair tax. Then I saw what it's current proponents are proposing, and there's nothing fair – or even workable – about it. Besides, I'm older now, and I'm no longer willing to pay the penalty people in my position would have to accept for benefits future generations won't appreciate, just as the current younger generations don't appreciate the American soldier.
Now this response wouldn't be complete if I didn't save the best for last – like you did:
"It's funny that you hold up Hen as an example that other liberals who dare enter your blog should follow, but can't even resist comparing her to a retarded guy. It's just a reflex, isn't it?"
That really tickled me. Did you think Hen didn't read that? And if she did, where's the anger? Look, here's what you don't get and I can't give you – you're thinking on too low a level though after reading Lenny's latest, maybe not on as low a level as Lenny after all. So see, it isn't all bad.
Lenny, I was wrong about you, your insight is amazing!
As is your bitterness.
Oh!Flypaper.Got it.
Thank you for noticing.
But now, let me ask you this: true I call people stupid or worse, liberal, but how does that rate as compared to the personal attack you recorded above?
Because I mean, while I hope you die, and your family dies, and your dog dies, and your landscaping dies… I'd never say it.
Jeez, Ted, still offering your carotid to the vampires on a regular basis? They suck and suck and suck, and yet they never pay. Just found your message at eazy's. Thank you, I will come over mail.To all the others here: I do not know you and I hope it's gonna stay that way. I have two friends and that's more than I need.I have the attention span of a ferret on meth. I will never read your posts entirely, so don't try to convince me with complicated logical doodahs, I DO NOT GET IT. I will pick out of your posts what I like to pick out and I will shamelessly draw my own conclusions from it. And if my conclusions are totally wrong, so what, because whatever I make up as your point of view will be much more interesting than what you could possibly bring up yourself.Other than Ted I do not believe in convincing anyone of anything.And if you ever stumble across the thought, that my character might be an invention of Ted to lighten up things in here, take a look at my English and you'll find: Ted could in no way write such a bad English as I do, even if he desperately wanted to.Merry Christmas to all Men on Earth. And to liberals 72 virgins and a mule.
It's been too long, and yet it was worth the wait, which was a mere blink compared to what I'd feared it would be. And it's been kind to you – you're far more mellow and refined and nuanced. I could hardly have gotten a better Christmas present, and yet I'm a little envious since you said in a few paragraphs what I've been unable to get some people here to understand in a year.
I figured that sooner or later, you would look at EZ again, but I had such a sinking feeling when I saw that you'd written months before and I was only reading it then, because I knew that however long it took to re-establish ties, it was too long.
Who would have thought that the two people I admired after years on EZ would be the Punk From Pennsylvania and a clumsy Kraut? Although that's two more than I liked when I started there…
Ted, I'll loose "mellow", "nuanced" and "refined" as soon as I feel a little more comfortable around here, I promise.The reason I showed up again is that I ran out of punchlines. I have used them up in my other forum, and I need a refill.I lost my password for ezboard. I was desperate! But while watching Lewis Black on TV I spontanously remeberred, it's "killdaschmeckel".No way you have read a better post than this this week:The newspaper Makor Rishon
writes about a recent study authored by researcher Tal Nitzan and
published by the Hebrew University's Shein Center for Social Studies.
According to the study, Israeli soldiers refrain from raping
Palestinian women in the occupied territories not because they are more
humane. In fact the opposite is true, says researcher Tal Nitzan.
Israeli soldiers don't rape is because they have been taught to
dehumanize Palestinian women. Another reason is that the soldiers don't
want the Arab population to increase through pregnancies as a result of
the rapes; according to Nitzan that would be considered an ason
leumi–a national tragedy.The Israeli Sociology Association awarded the report a mark of excellence.Here's a quote from the study:As
Israelis/Jews, who view themselves as moral, the soldiers find it
difficult to commit martial rapes. It seems that (in Bosnia) men
identified themselves as Serbians through committing public group rapes
of Bosnian women; Jews identify themselves as non-rapists,
non-assimilationists, as a nation unique in the embrace of God. Rape
and non-rape are two sides of the same coin, which in different
situations the use of either one can lead to the same results. [emphasis and translation mine]Nitzan notes that the Israeli army is the only one not to commit mass rapes when it occupies another country.Slightly better is what they made out of it.Now, let's get the band together. Is HV around?
"I'm nowhere near a liberal, as my liberal friends, relatives and wife could attest."Bohahaa! And his liberal wife could attest that he is faithful, too.