Express Line, Ten Items Or Less, No Ogling.

There's a long-ago song by the Box Tops that goes something like this, and as always, feel free to sing along…

Sweet cream ladies forward march;

Puritans ignore them 

Sweet cream ladies do their part;

Sweet cream men adore them

Exactly what the "Puritans" don't intend to have happen any longer… at least not in supermarkets… in Malaysia

That's right, ladies, the supermarket checkout lanes just got safer for you – in one Islamic State, Denial, where the express lines will now be by gender.

Actually, it's the State is Kelantan, which is the same name as an anti-seizure medication I believe, and I know after this they're gonna be flooded with requests for permanent visas from women everywhere:

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia – Malaysia's only state run by the Islamic opposition party will get stricter about enforcing separate lines for men and women at supermarkets, an official said Tuesday.

Thank Allah.. Finally!

Supermarkets will be fined if they allow men and women in line together. I can hear it now, "Gender check on register four."

But while men may not be happy, women must be relieved. They can finally buy those personal products without fear of embarrassment… although men still can't.

Here's my favorite part of the AP story:

"Chief Minister Nik Aziz Nik Mat has called for stricter enforcement "to safeguard the ladies" from being harassed and to avoid close proximity between opposite sexes while lining up to buy groceries…"

Did you catch that? The guy's name is Nik Aziz Nik Mat. Nik Mat? as in paddywhack give a dog a bone?

No wonder the law hasn't been enforced, who could take someone with a name like that seriously? But now it's no more Mr. Nice Guy… It's Mr. Nik Mat, to you.

And as silly as this story might be to some of us, apparently the Associated Press thinks it's not so much -.there's not a hint of opinion, no not-so-subtle afterthoughts, it's bias free – just the facts, ma'am.

The same organization whose reporter couldn't resist taking jabs at Bush and Christians and Jews when Bush was in Israel… the same organization that painted our returning servicemen as basket cases in a recent story… that organization now reports this with a totally straight face.

There's no word on whether men and women will eventually have separate but equal grocery aisles or if the cashiers need to be the same sex as the customers, but can shopping on alternate days be far behind? And then, how about alternate universes?

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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1 Response to Express Line, Ten Items Or Less, No Ogling.

  1. Nik Aziz Nik Mat is a real wach job with way too much time on his hands.

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