Burt & Me, Part 2

I interrupt my usual rant to bring you this message of interest and importance…

This is a Ted News Alert: Sometime back when, in a venue far, far away, I wrote about an exchange I had with Burt Prelutsky, a screenwriter who's so accomplished that you can find him on IMDB, And today, Burt divides his time between espousing conservative points of view and being Jewish. This report is about both of those aspects.

From my long-time partnership with another Burt, who's a bona fide New Yorker, I felt I understood Mr. Prelutsky better than most, and so when, at the end of his last column about the horrors of the Obamanation Health Care bill, Burt employed an absolutely inaccurate analogy to which he compared the the Bobo bill, I was both shocked and concerned – shocked that he didn't realize his error, and concerned that he might not appreciate the correction I felt duty-bound to convey to him.

See, I recalled my Burt who liked to be corrected slightly less than having a daily colonoscopy – which I might add, is a more appropriate analogy than the one this bit is about. And I have say parenthetically that I don't understand why people react the way they do when an error is brought to their attention, though I will say that the loudness of their howl appears to be inversely proportional to their intelligence.

OK, so I'm reading Burt's column and nodding nicely until I reach the final paragraph. That's when I felt I might need my health insurance to get treatment on my unhinged jaw. The paragraph read as follows…

Actually, I just went to retrieve the paragraph, and I can't find it, though you'll see from the exchange that Mr. Prelutsky acknowledges its existence, so my assessment may be inaccurate if in fact it's currently undergoing a rewrite. Nevertheless, when has something as inconsequential as that stopped me?

Here's the crux of the matter. Burt said, well, why don't I just use his email…

Ted–The analogy was to getting health insurance for a pre-existing condition. I compared that to getting fire insurance after your house has burned down. Regards, Burt

Are you as stunned as I was? I replied:

I know, the analogy didn't apply. It would if you said people could now get insurance after they're dead.

In fact, it's even  worse than it appears, because homeowner insurers do, indeed, refuse to write policies if your home has  a "pre-existing condition." You have to correct it before they will insure you. But with health care, that would be a Catch-22, which I felt certain Burt would understand since Joseph Heller is also a Jew.

Now if you were Burt, I know you'd be thanking me for bringing such inconsistencies to your attention, but that's why you're not a successful writer – you don't have enough disdain for your inferiors. Here's Burt again…

Okay, if you say so. Burt

You don't have to hit me in the head with a two-by-four twice…

Oh I see… OK then, carry on. Best, Ted

I don't know if Burt feels the need to have the last word or he's just rotely courteous

Will do.  Regards, Burt

Is it just me or did you sense an "a-hole" in there somewhere?

Anyway, at least I understand now why people hate Jews.

What, I'm just sayin'?!

The truth is, I still love Burt… both of them. After all, they can't help what they are, and not only are they a lot like me, in many ways, they're better at it. Although I don't think Burt has advocated mayhem against liberals yet, so you see how important it is that I keep the lines of communication open!?

I now return you to my regularly scheduled rant, already in progress…

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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