The Taranto of the Day – It’s SO Me!

I'm happy to announce that we've taken our first steps to get broadband – we just bought two pay-as-you-go cell phones with the plan being to eliminate our land line for which we pay $25.00 a month. The refurbished camera phones cost us $36.00 in toto, so we're already in the hole, but we figure the monthly cost will be about five bucks – because we simply don't make or get calls – and we'd like to keep it that way.

Then we'll have twenty bucks to put toward broadband, and since dialup costs eight dollars a month, we're up to…. let's see, 20 + 8… no ones to carry so it's something in the vicinity of thirty dollars, and I'm on record as saying that I'd be willing to pay up to five bucks extra (8+5) for broadband, to now I'm around $35. (8+5+fudge)

The trouble is that broadband cost seems to be going up, not down, and when you lose the land line, you don't get to "bundle," so everything is still a little vague as I write, but if we can give up  cable too, and download what we want to watch from the Internet, well, then we're talkin'!

But now along comes James today with this promising bit of information…

The Federal Communications Commission today unveils "its much-awaited 'broadband plan,' which, among other things, will explain how the government plans to get nine out of 10 Americans online by 2020," CNN reports:

That's no easy task, considering less than two-thirds of people in the country have high-speed Internet access at home today, according to a 5,005-person survey published by the FCC in February.

Considering that the number of households with broadband was zero a little over a decade ago, it's hard to see why we need a "national plan" to go from 67% to 90% in the next 10 years. CNN builds its story around what is supposed to be a tear-jerking human-interest story:

Like a photographer without a camera, or a mechanic who doesn't own a car, Kelli Fields is a webmaster without high-speed Internet access.

By day, the 42-year-old uses a broadband connection at work to update a university's Web site, which she built and codes from scratch.

But when she goes home at night, the rural Oklahoman struggles with a dial-up Internet connection so slow, she does chores to pass the time while Web sites load.

When we were young, we hiked five miles through the driving snow in our bare feet to use a 300-baud modem. Well, OK, we made that up, except the part about the 300-baud modem.

If you bother to read all the way through the story, though, you find that the reason Fields doesn't have high-speed Internet is she doesn't want to pay for it:

Fields is considering scraping together the money to get satellite Internet at her house. But she doesn't want to give up services like TV to free up money for an expensive Internet connection.

So if the FCC wants to make broadband more widely available, maybe it should try making television less available.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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3 Responses to The Taranto of the Day – It’s SO Me!

  1. Waterbaby says:

    That Fields story reminds me of the recent tale in which the young son (campaigning for Obama's health care) bemoaned the death of his mother because she didn't have health coverage. Nowhere was it mentioned that the woman was very fat and smoked!!

  2. TedWest says:

    I'd have loved seeing Reid beheaded right in front of the kid. Then let the boy explain how Bobocare would have made a difference.

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