Seems Retarded To Me

So Rahm Emanuel has apparently concluded the apology portion of his program and has entered the activist stage… in which he promises to join the campaign to stamp out the use of "retarded." As in, "Hey, you retard, saying 'retarded" is retarded!"

Or will he say the "R-word"?

Let's be clear. As with the N-word, that doesn't mean you can simply say "R-word" where you might have said "retarded" previously. I mean, you can't say, "Hey, N-word, shine my shoes already!" The letter designations serve to identify words you can't even hint at, but at the same time you need some way to refer to them in polite conversation which involves talking about some R-word N-word who was so uncouth that he used the actual words.

But now, so "R" equals "N"?

Unless there's a new algebra, I don't think so!

If it did, could I say "retarded" here without being suspected of being a racist? Or is that a geneticist? Well, you get the idea because you're not a R.

But this begs the bigger question… what happens, you know, somewhere out there, when two unspeakable words start vying for the same letter designation? Will we need to add a small vowel identifier? Nu-word"?

No-word on that yet.

And I should mention that I've used "retarded" more in the past few days than I have in my entire life. In fact, I don't think I've ever used it to characterize someone or something who/that wasn't retarded because the characterization always seemed, you know, retarded to me.

So once again we're indebted to liberals for enlightening us about an issue we didn't know existed. That's certainly not to say that no conservative ever uttered the word or that no conservative ever IS that word, it's imply that I've never heard it said by an adult before.. or what passes for an adult in Chicago.

But then Rahm is certainly more hip than I am… at least he was until now. Because now he can't say "retarded" anymore, and I can. Retarded, retarded, retarded.  That makes me either a right-wing Timothy Leary or a dumb F-word!?!

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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5 Responses to Seems Retarded To Me

  1. Lexann says:

    ROFLOL!! A dumb "F-word"! HA! HA! HA!….

    That's retarded!

  2. TedWest says:

    My wife and I actually had a discussion about this last night. She feels "retarded" is hurtful. I argued that it was only hurtful because certain people choose to feel excessively hurt by it. I explained that idiot, imbecile and moron are all forms of retardation, but no one minds being called them!?!

  3. How about the AARP = American Association of Retarded Politicians? 😉

  4. If you use the n-word and the f-word and the r-word in the same sentence describing the same person or persons perhaps you need to increase your vocabulary skills! LOL

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