The Fox In The CNN House

Well, the results of the election are in, and the big winner was… Fox News!

And as expected, the big loser was… anything liberal.

CNN even finished behind it's surrogate, CNN Headline News.

Now THAT'S change you can believe in!

Meanwhile, Bobo said he didn't pay attention to the election results.

I'll pause here to give you time to finish laughing.

So you want a simple test to find out how ignorant a liberal is? Just mention Fox News and see how long it takes to hear a discouraging word. The shorter the period, the dumber he is. One third of the Fox audience is liberal. Granted, half of them are watching so they can find something to criticize, and the other half don't understand what the people on Fox are talking about because it's the first time they've heard about the subject, but a statistically insignificant number of liberals probably realize that Fox is the only place they can get all sides of a story.

In fact, liberals are snowy about the fact that the number of their species watching Fox is greater than the number of liberals watching the other cable news channels combined.

But who can argue that with liberals when they say Fox is biased? No one, that's who. Because Fox IS biased… in favor of presenting all the facts, free speech, allowing both sides to be heard, and they don't understand that the reason Fox airs more conservative views than liberal views is because conservative views make sense. In fact, I get angry at Fox because they air too much liberal nonsense.

Liberals, of course, don't see their views as nonsense – because they never carry them to their logical conclusion. There's always a leap… "We want the public option so that… people can live forever!"

FAME!

That's the liberal mind at work… and "work" is probably a mischaracterization as well as a statistically insignificant number, because most liberals are either unemployed or they "work" for the government! And of course, their jobs were all just saved – and many even got raises thanks to the stimulus. For joy!

Now here's something I found more interesting that the enormous Fox lead in viewers… it's the enormous Fox lead in the coveted 25-54 age group. There too, Fox handily beat the other networks combined, but what's so significant there is that if you're 25 and watching Fox, it's very unlikely you'll be able to watch the other networks with a straight face. I mean whenever I turn on MSNBC, it takes milliseconds to overwhelmed by the stupidity, the hate, the desperation that's being conveyed by the anchor of the hour.

So Nancy Pelosi thinks "we won!?!" I wonder, could other liberals think that as well? If so, keep on keepin' on, bro…

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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3 Responses to The Fox In The CNN House

  1. I think that I'll rent "Network" – "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!!!"

  2. TedWest says:

    Do they rent firearms?
    My apology for all the typos which i hope are now corrected. I was mad as hell as I wrote!

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