Who Put The “Con” in Congress?

The problem with Republicans is that they don't practice what they preach. The problem with Democrats is that they do.

And Republicans hardly ever protest anything. But when they do, they always seem to manage to get it wrong. A cynic might say they like being the minority party because there's no pressure. Me, I just think they're more idiotic than Democrats, which is really saying something!

I mention this in light of Joe Wilson's interjection in the midst of the President's healthcare speech before a joint session of Congress where what was really missing were the joints!

At the point where Obama said that illegal immigrants would not be covered under his plan, Wilson blurted out, "You lie!"

But a "lie" is defined as "a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive." Thus Wilson was saying that Obama knew illegals would be covered under his plan, and that he was intentionally misleading people.

However, another Republican who didn't speak a word that night nevertheless said it all – and pointed out Wilson's mistake at the same time -  I don't know his name, but he sat silently with a sign in his lap that read simply: "WHAT BILL?"

See, how could Obama be lying when not only is there no language in his bill that permits illegals to get health coverage, he hasn't even got a bill!?!

Oh I know there are a lot of other bills floating around Congress… actually they're too heavy to float, and no one knows what's in them because no one has read a single one of them. Which is disgraceful because it's been demonstrated that a number of Congressmen can read!

Furthermore, the President admits that he doesn't know what's in them. So you see, Wilson was clearly out of line when he yelled, "You lie!" He should have yelled, "You're clueless!"

By the way, this is not the same Joe Wilson who went around saying amazingly stupid things when his unmentionable wife's unmentionable job was intentionally mentioned, appropriately enough, by someone named Dick.

That Wilson never apologized for wrongly accusing the Bush Administration of outing the little woman, and he subsequently went down in Plames.

The irony is that Joe Wilson, the Representative whose State is named after Caroline Kennedy from the waist down, not only apologized, he sent the President some yellow cake as a goodwill gesture! (anyone needing an explanation can send a stamped, self-addressed email to halfbaked@tedsnuts.com)

Meanwhile, seven of Wilson's Republican colleagues in the House voted to slap him on the wrist for his outburst. Coincidentally, seven Democrats in the Senate voted against slapping ACORN with penalties for counseling people on how best to get kids involved in prostitution..

The moral? Nuts are a far greater threat than flakes!

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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20 Responses to Who Put The “Con” in Congress?

  1. Jack Yan says:

    Ted, youโ€™re a heck of a good writer. Any time I need someone to make sense of whatโ€™s going on without resorting to bitterness, I come to you. And any time I think our politicians are a bunch of clueless headcases, I know I will always have folks like Joe Wilson to make me feel better.

  2. Ted – You make a good point about Republicans. Even though I agree with you somewhat about their incompetence, I think Republicans in general are the only ones standing the way of the President Obama's freight train to create another Cuba in America. If the Democrats had their way, every American would be ruled with a strong hand. The government would control all means of production. The Democrats would put anyone in jail, who would dare criticize President Obama. Protesters would not be allowed, if President Obama ruled without opposition. The aforementioned may seem like an over-reaction to the President Obama presidency. However, his administration and the Democrats have shown they want to take over private enterprise, nationalize health care, and shut down protesters. In addition, for the next 3 years, anyone who criticizes President Obama's will be accused of being a racist by President Obama's surrogates in the MSM. This is outrageous.

  3. It's about power, how to get it and how to keep it. That's why no reform took place after the Republicans held a majority from 1995 to 2006. Congress is the only whore house that looses money. We need another revolution!

  4. Lexann says:

    I agree with Zak. Repubs had their chance, and they turned into Democrats. They, like their opposition, don't care about the people, just their own re-election. Apparently power corrupts, and unending power corrupts unendingly!
    It's way past time for term limits.

  5. TedWest says:

    Sorry I haven't been back here in some time, but I've been busing hating people in another venue.
    To say that Republicans became Democrats is misleading – they became what Dems used to be. They couldn't possibly match what the stinking liberals are doing today.
    As for it being past time for things, I've got bad news – nothing is going to get better. Even if Republcans regain power, that will only mean returning to what they were doing. If you haven't been watching, no one has changed his tune one note.
    So we're ruined. Not necessarily the rest of the world, JUST US!

  6. TedWest says:

    Jack, I don't know how things look from your perspective, but from mine, it's too late. I blame Bush and the Republicans for that – and the American people – on both sides who didn't rise up long ago, and despite appearances, they are not rising up now.
    The only encouraging sign is that guns and ammunition are selling like hotcakes!

  7. TedWest says:

    Timothy, if the Republicans are the only ones standing between us and oblivion, then we're doomed.
    And may I ask what's standing in the way of you apologizing to me?

  8. TedWest says:

    I vote for the execution of 536 people!

  9. May I ask what this is about?And may I ask what's standing in the way of you apologizing to me?

  10. I vote for prision and humiliation- it's poetic justice! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  11. TedWest says:

    I'm sorry, I thought that was just a name change, did you buy Timothy out?

  12. TedWest says:

    Well, if you'd have intervened at the time, we might have avoided all this ๐Ÿ˜‰

  13. Darcy says:

    Careful, Zak. The secret service will come knocking on your door.

  14. Tell that to Ted! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. Darcy says:

    LOL — Ted's a big boy. I'm sure he can take care of himself.

  16. I don't want Ted to think I've gone soft. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  17. Darcy says:

    I understand! He has a way of chewing up and spitting out the softies.

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