The Obstacles We Face

The title is the working title for a piece I'm working on which will hopefully be posted in the Humor section on BloggersBase next week. The "hopefully" part is about when, not whether it will be posted, and I'm not referring to next week or later, rather I mean next week or sooner.

Because BloggersBase doesn't encourage quality, they encourage quality, and since you get scored more on how much you produce rather than how good it is, you get some pretty "interesting" entries there. Politics is the most normal as compared to what you might read on Vox, but even there, people mostly regurgitate what you've read in the news, and the opinion pieces are big on opinion and short on just about everything else.

But I don't write about politics there, I stay strictly in Humor where I keep winning. Not because I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, but because literally no one else can write anything even slightly funny. That's curious in itself, because you'd think the odds would be with them, but so far, Humor defies the law of averages.

Last week, one guy warned me that he'd come up with a plan to break my, as he put it, "stranglehold." Well, he didn't say that exactly, he said "strangle hold." And the guy, I come to find out, has a PhD! I hope not in English, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

Anyway it turned out that his plan was the "kitchen sink" approach. He's posted a bunch of entries that are virtually devoid of humor, but chock full of everything and anything else, and as usual, they're getting scores that far exceed their worth, though it must be to his chagrin that they aren't enough to win.

And therein lies the problem. Competitors seem to think that because their posts don't score well, that I'm responsible. As a result, I keep taking hits in the scoring. What's fascinating is that there are political posts that score 8 on the 10 scale, but I have a hard time staying above seven. And that's despite the fact that whatever value my posts may have, they are the only ones that can be considered remotely funny.

So why am I complaining when I'm winning? Good question. I'm basically complaining about the lack of ethics. People are only too happy to vote me down solely to advance themselves. To them, quality, the difference between their posts and mine make no difference. But again, I'm still winning so why does it matter? Well, it matters because these people consider themselves to be respectable. They figure that they got a five, so I deserve a five too. The trouble is, they deserve a one, but they don't see it that way. They must think I'm vindictive or that I automatically vote the competition down, which is not the case.

Unfortunately, it's often tantamount to that. They deserve a one or a two or a three, and I give them exactly what they deserve.The kitchen sink guy actually had the nerve to tell me that his dilemma was whether to vote me down so he might win? Can you imagine, and I'm supposed to be gracious about that? How about writing something funny, Jack? And then try doing it again!

So BloggersBase has been another eye-opening experience and, as usual, not for the better. Luckily for me, I get people who do recognize that my posts are generally a cut above and who aren't trying to win at all costs. The ones who have been my strongest "competitors" are simply bad guys. Oh they don't think so, but I wouldn't want to know them in real life. The funniest thing is, I would have given them advice on how to put something together that people might find a bit humorous. But they think they do just fine on their own. I can tell them that they don't, and I know my ex-partner, Burt, would be far tougher on them.

So I now regard this as the Old West, and I'm the gunslinger who's got every little quick draw in every little town trying to take him out. And nowadays I even have to contend with the possibility that "taking him out" means on a date! Oh, I've killed plenty in my time, all right, and these guys don't know what it's like to kill once.

Here's are my latest posts so you can judge for yourself:

Better Off Ted

Bowling For Hollers

A Conversation With The Wife About Race

The Art Of Headline Interpretation

Put A Candle In The Window, Just Don't Light It

Remember When "Stasi" was Synonymous with "Secret Police?" Well, She's Back!

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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