Sing, Sing A Song, Sing It Wrong…

When I watch Bobo Obama, Harry Pelosi and Nancy Reid nowadays, I find myself using more vulgarities than ever, and in far greater quantities. I've even taken to stringing them together, merging them, making up new ones… even creating song verses with them…

Is this the sort of change Obama promised?

And speaking of songs and Obama, now someone is running an ad around something Obama said on the campaign about coal. Is it just me or even apart from him being an absolutely terrible public speaker, his melodically off-key tones are so grating that if his "tone-poems" were played at Guantanamo, they'd be labeled the worst form of torture?

Well, I've undertaken more change – I've downloaded a "white noise" mp3 that's always just a click away!

Did you hear the latest? An archaeologist found some Sanskrit, and the translation is literally: "Obama will be the most famous person ever."

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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26 Responses to Sing, Sing A Song, Sing It Wrong…

  1. Darcy says:

    OMG — I agree with Obama! He said something today about the schools being closed and it being unnecessary. Our schools will be closed again tomorrow. Now I was just thinking they should have been open today. It's just not that bad. I'll have to go upstairs and take my temperature now and see if I'm running a fever or something.

  2. TedWest says:

    OK, I read your comment, and I came to the conclusion that you hate me.

  3. Darcy says:

    I'm just delirious from Cabin Fever. Can you share a copy of your white noise recording?

  4. TedWest says:

    I'd be happy to send one along… did you think I was kidding? I actually downloaded a bunch so I could have variety… but you have to loop them since they're short.
    Or just put "white noise mp3" into a search engine.

  5. Darcy says:

    LOL– I did think you were kidding. When aren't you? It says the white noise is for tinnitus. You could repackage it and market it for Obammitus. Make your self a Billy Mays type infomercial and make a wad of cash!

  6. TedWest says:

    See, you just demonstrated why i need you – YOU could repackage it. -I- deal with ideas, not all of them good. That's another place where you come in!
    I confess that the mp3s were not downloaded as a response to Obama. I got them as a response to Cox Cable. For a very long time the worst company in American history ran a series of ads, all of them urging me to get digital cable and all sorts of other 'services, and they did it with hideous women, all of whom had voices that could rival Fran Drescher's. And what they lacked in scratchy whininess, they made up for in decibels.
    And did I mention that these Coxettes did this at every single commercial break on every single channel? And sometimes two in a row! I finally called Cox and complained. I asked a woman who, herself, should have been the voice of Cox instead of being saddled with talking to idiots like me, "Look, I want to help former drug addicts and ex-prostitutes as much as anybody, but does Cox have to put them IN FRONT OF the camera?
    Then the ads disappeared. Those ads. Cox ran different, less obnoxious ones (but still five times more obnoxious than anyone else's) with the same frequency, and I mean that in all senses of the word.
    But they too disappeared, and a few months ago, I think in honor of Obama, Cox trotted back out the worst of all the Cox Whores in their stable. Now she speaks more quietly, which ironically makes her even more grating, and the mere sight of her makes me instantly insane.
    You see what I'm saying? I'm saying that i haven't been able to use those mp3s for the purpose I'd intended because I'm too out of my mind at the moment to even think of clicking an icon, and even if i could, I'd be shaking to much to get the cursor to stop where I needed it to.

  7. Darcy says:

    Okaay. If you don't want to make a bunch of money, we'll just shelve that one. I'm too busy peddling books to mess with it. I can't even for the life of me figure out which commercials you are talking about. The only ones I can think of are of the cartoon guy with the flippy hair. They ran those constantly. Come to think of it I haven't seen one in a while.

  8. TedWest says:

    Oh my God, you have Cox? OK, listen up… I only HATED the cartoon guy, whom they haven't retired. With the Cox Whores, let's just say I understand serial killers a lot better now.
    And about not knowing who I'm talking about… just watch any Cox add that has a, and I use the term loosely, woman in it. There has never been a Cox ad that's doesn't have as it's secondary intent, rehabilitation.

  9. It is 67 degrees with blue skies here in Tucson! πŸ™‚

  10. Darcy says:

    Hush, Zak. No one here wants to hear that!

  11. πŸ˜‰ We have 100+ summers too.

  12. Darcy says:

    So do we! I think it got up to 109Β° last August. That's the day my rearview mirror glue melted and my mirror fell off.

  13. TedWest says:

    I've been in Dallas in the summer and in the winter, and I felt that had the worst climate in the country, but if you get to 109, I may have to rethink that. Do you have mosquitoes too? Are you a native?
    By the way, I have an incredibly easy and free solution to global warming which I hope to detail very soon. It beats my CO2 conversion to dry ice for the arctic and the space pipeline by a mile. or more… how far away is space, anyway?

  14. Darcy says:

    Yes we have mosquitoes. I am a native of Kansas. And for your other question — space is a long, long, way away. I can hardly wait for your new theory πŸ™‚

  15. 100- 111 with 20% humidity… πŸ˜‰

  16. Darcy says:

    OK now I officially hate Zak.

  17. Don't kill the messenger just move to Tucson. πŸ™‚

  18. Darcy says:

    That would be nice but I just moved into this house and with my track record I have 19.9 years left before I move again.

  19. Your photos look nice- great neighborhood you are in.

  20. TedWest says:

    I just reread this whole conversation it was so interesting, but on a totally unrelated subject, do you guys have any thoughts as to why there's just the three of us here? Maybe we could talk about temperatures in other cities?
    I started writing a summary of my warming solutions. This latest one is absolutely brilliant! I'd like it to be ready for tomorrow, but it's looking iffy.

  21. Darcy says:

    I was wondering myself where everybody else is… heeeelllllooooo? There are now only three of us left who are not kool-aide drinkers. You may have to let Snowy back in to spice things up.I'm more in favor of global cooling now. People need to make more quilts.

  22. With all the freezing temps it's hard for me to warm up to the global warming theory…

  23. Darcy says:

    Did you see Owl Gore the other day? It's now called Catastrophic Climate Change (or CCC for short) and we are alllll going to die!!

  24. I wish he'd die…yesterday.

  25. Darcy says:

    LOL — Amen Brother.

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