Hey, Wanna Be Sick?!?

Time Nears Completion of Every Possible Obama Cover Variation

And if that doesn't do it, this will…

By James Taranto:

The Onion Gets Scooped
The Los Angeles Times headline reads, "Martyrdom Beckons Lebanese Teen, but She Really Wants to Direct." We thought this was a case of life imitating the Onion, but we searched the Onion Web site and couldn't come up with a suitable antecedent. (The closest we found was "Terrorist Hero of New Film," but that was about an actual film, "V for Vendetta.") So let's call this "The Onion Gets Scooped." Here's how the Times story begins:

Hiba Qassir dreams of making movies. She's ambitious and precocious enough. At 18, she's taught herself how to edit video and sound on a computer, and has her sights set on directing gripping social and psychological dramas.

But if the movie business doesn't work out, that's OK. She has other dreams: perhaps to become a cop or a pilot. Or maybe a suicide bomber.

"Martyrdom is the shortest way to heaven, and the history of martyrdom is not like any history," Hiba says. "It made victory. We wouldn't have achieved victory without these martyrdoms."

It's actually a good piece of reporting, a window into the depravity of Islamic supremacy. But the entire thing is written in the same chirpy human-interest tone as the first few paragraphs. The author, Borzou Daragahi, doesn't exactly glorify terrorism, but it is as if he has no clue that murder, suicide and hatred are wrong. If it were a parody, it would be hilarious. That it is not, is a little nauseating.

And I think I've pinpointed the problems to why all I see are negatives as far as the eye can see – it's because the people I read are too intelligent for my own good, and none more so than Jimmy T. who's column today is depressingly brilliant.

But that's the point – liberals only read idiots, so it's perfectly understandable if they think things are looking up now.

Except I wonder how many actually think that since events have overtaken ideology, and unemployment might not be the change they were looking for?

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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5 Responses to Hey, Wanna Be Sick?!?

  1. TedWest says:

    I just came across this and it literally begged to be included here:

    At one point, Obama saw a pregnant staffer (at the Washington Post today).
    "When are you due?" Obama said.
    "Next week," she said.
    "I hear Barack is a good name," he said.

  2. Darcy says:

    Oh good grief. This is a joke? Tell me this is a joke.I've got a pot of lentil stew on the stove and must go attend to it. I'll be back later to read the stories. I may get stuck here if I click that link and the family won't be happy.

  3. Typical "non-judgemental" liberalism. 🙄

  4. TedWest says:

    By now you know it's no joke, I assume? And remember when we thought Clinton was narcissistic? Such simpler times!

  5. Darcy says:

    Yes indeed. I do know now it is no joke. You were right, it did make me sick and I lost my voice.

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