Get To Know Me

I got this from Cori who got it from someone else, and I decided to use it after I saw Jack posted his version because it saves me the trouble of thinking of something on my own. The twist is that mine's modified slightly so as to better reflect "the American way" and my own uniqueness…

Copy the list and highlight the things you've done – or just use mine?!

1. Started your own blog - and forum, and had a section in my name on Compuserve's Comedy Central, which is way less than it may sound

2. Slept under the stars – at Mardi Gras when it was 45 degrees

3. Played in a band – no, but play the drums with minimum competence

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity – but not by choice

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain (not a big one) – does a very big rock count? 

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo – but not in front of an audience

11. Bungee jumped – no, and I don't want to know anyone who has

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm – under a tree – on a golf course

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch – but define: art

15. Adopted a child, no, but my ex-wife adopted three, and they call me "uncle."

16. Had food poisoning – it must have been

17. Been atop the Empire State Building

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa – hasn't everyone?

20. Slept on an overnight train – that's something to relish?

21. Had a pillow fight – no, but had a million snowball fights, one I won with one throw.

22. Hitchhiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a snake

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Ran a marathon - Ran track – as a sprinter

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise – But define: cruise. Mine were like the on on The Office

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors – Cleveland? I grew up there. Ireland? Then, no.

35. Seen an Amish community – no, but I've been in Amish country and didn't see any Amish, sort of like African gorillas

36. Taught yourself a new language – define: taught

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied – for one night 

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing – see above

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant - bought him beer and pizza after a collision

44. Visited Africa – no, but I've got a great story about someone who did

45. Walked on a beach in the moonlight – no, but walked on a deserted beach in the afternoon

46. Been transported in an ambulance – but I wasn't the patient – similar situation with a hearse

47. Had your portrait painted – but I wasn't there at the time

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain – better yet – the snow

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie – do home movies count?

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business – not only that, I sold a business

58. Taken a martial arts class (I could have chopped your face in half back in the day)

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies – C'mon, I sold chocolate bars

62. Gone whale watching – no, but I've seen "Tons of Fun" – one of them bounced me off the stage

63. Got flowers for no reason – no, but I gave them for the same reason

64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma

65. Gone skydivingno, but I was thrown off a boat in the middle of Lake Erie

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp – no, but I went on a Catholic retreat – I'd have preferred the camp

67. Bounced a check – not exactly, my bank did it for me, and they ate the fee

68. Flown in a helicopter – no, but I've flown a plane solo – and had the radio go out

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy – a Roy Rogers stagecoach

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar – Now that's something I won't do

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades – Define: toured, because I've driven into the Everglades, and I've had monkeys climbing on me at Monkey Jungle

75. Been fired from a job – let me count the ways

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London – I believe that should be singular?

77. Broken a bone – my skull, before that I was much different

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person – drove right by it, but didn't bother stopping.

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem – no, but I waled in Cleveland's Hough area – way more dangerous

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible – holy God!

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating – does the Thanksgiving turkey count?

88. Had chickenpox – Are you kidding, that's chicken sh*t. I've had kidney stones three times

89. Saved someone’s life – maybe, I Heimliched the hell out of her.

90. Sat on a jury – not that they haven't tried

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club – no, but I joined a CD club – never again

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby – She took the morning train

95. Seen the Alamo in person – no, but rented their cars

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake – how about Lake Erie? It's far more dangerous.

97. Been involved in a law suit - sued by my pool builder, argued my own case against their lawyer, and won. 

98. Owned a mobile phone – as opposed to a cell phone? No matter, I've never owned either.

99. Been stung by a bee

100. Read an entire book in one day – define: book

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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3 Responses to Get To Know Me

  1. Betsy Grape says:

    Interesting idea..I love things like this 🙂
    Happy New Year!
    Betsy xo

  2. TedWest says:

    Thanks, Betsy, best wishes to you too.

  3. Well I've been to Moscow, Perris, Miami, Bagdad, Los Angeles and Chicago-
    Chicago, IL – Los Angeles, CA – Bagdad, AZ – Miami, FL – Perris, CA – Moscow, ID. 😉

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