Ted’s Shorts

It seems to me that small minds are like transistors – they get smaller with each passing year so more of them can be crammed into the same space.


Too many atheists and religious people are equally disturbing. Both are amazingly arrogant in their beliefs without any basis whatsoever, and both try to bring you down if you don't subscribe to their idea of what's true. I tend to side with Bible believers because they advocate ethical and moral behavior, but if you don't accept either side's arguments, at least atheists only express disdain instead of threatening you with eternal damnation. Although that may be simply an atheist's recognition of the limitations of his theory. And I hasten to add that if you're an atheist… and you believe in global warming, I shudder to think what a conversation with you would be like.


Speaking of religion, an interview with Glenn Beck has been removed from the Focus on the Family website because of the many complaints it generated. It's not that Beck said or did anything wrong, it's because Beck is not Christian enough (which was news to me). See, he's Mormon, and that is apparently as threatening as atheism. Here's how one complainer so very aptly put it:

"It is disturbing to hear the amount of calls coming in from "Christians" who extend that term to Mr. Beck. Unfortunately, there are many confused or just plain ignorant people who don't know the Bible or the tenants of Mormon." – Fran

And Fran wasn't done yet:

"To lump them both into the category of Christian does injustice to truth. You may or may not espouse the gulf between the two, but I am glad to see that the difference was indeed made by reporting the comments in your article. It is too bad that Focus On the Family did not make that important distinction initially and had to withdraw the interview."

Wouldn't you love to hear Fran "espouse" the actual "tenants" of injustices done to both? And note that, to Fran, it wasn't so important what Beck might have said, it was only important that Focus on the Family came to its senses, however tardy it may have been.


This has been an eye-opening year for me vis-a-vis other conservatives, and I can now say with complete confidence that the left and the right are virtual equals. As a group, both are stupid, ignorant, biased, vicious, and above all, unworthy of trust. I had hoped that the conservatives from whom I'd fled several years ago were an aberration, but looking back, they were actually much better than ones I've encountered here and over at America c2c in recent months.


For many years, I've been asking how people were buying these houses and cars at these prices, and how they're getting so much credit, and now I know. I'd been operating under the assumption that the old rules were still in effect where people had to actually qualify to borrow money. Because I hadn't tried, I didn't know that all you had to do over the past few years was name your amount. And with respect to a house at least, you didn't even have to start paying it back right away. That's why flipping shows proliferated. Somebody with zero experience in remodeling would buy a house for five hundred grand, and I'd sit there with my jaw on the floor trying to figure out how they did it. The point is, I kept saying that this bubble had to burst, but I wasn't confident in my pronouncement because I had no clue as to what was actually happening. Now that I do, it seems to me that any expectations of a quick recovery are unrealistic at best.


If you haven't noticed, my interest and motivation in this sort of thing has faded considerably. So much so that I find myself wondering not just why I do this, but why I did this. As I get older, the biggest difference between Howard Hughes and me is a wooden airplane… and of course the money it takes to indulge in such things. By way of contrast with Mr. Hughes (though actually, it may be a similarity), the other day, my wife and I nearly died laughing at something Judge Judy said to the latest woman in the enormously long line of dumb females who give money to shiftless men and then sue to get it back.


And regarding Madame Sheindlin, I can't credit her directly, but I do think she's the reason why I relish watching Lifetime's movies. It's become a game now with my wife and me… we're watching, watching, waiting, and she's quietly trying to guess the point at which I finally can't stand it anymore and I yell at the bad guy (now the good guy), "That's it, get the bitch!" But see, that almost always ends in frustration when, no matter how stupid she is, the woman emerges triumphant. Not so on Judge Judy (who my wife loves specifically because JJ does my yelling for me). In fact, I so wish I would have become a judge. They may be the only people who can tell someone she's an idiot right to her face without the slightest fear of consequences.


In the past, we've called the transition from one President to another "the changing of the guard." This time however, I think a computer term is far more appropriate – GIGO.


I'm concerned about the possibility that you might regard one or more of the above comments as being somehow positive, because I had hoped this entire entry would be unremittingly negative. See, I'm neither an atheist, nor am I religious, so this is the only way I know to bring you down.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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