Tracking Timothy In Rosy Rosemead

After ignoring a number of requests for an interview, this reporter caught up with Timothy yesterday afternoon outside the palatial double-wide he shares with his parents in Rosemead, a Los Angeles bedroom community with every bit as much cachet as the better known meccas of El Monte and La Puente to the east. The way people tell them apart is that Rosemead is the one with the Southern California Edison power-generating plant in the middle.

Reporter: Timothy, Ted West, Ted West News… Ted West says that you unceremoniously and without warning blocked him from participating in a super-crucial discussion regarding the reinstitution of the Fairness Doctrine because he insulted a liberal idiot. Do you have any comment?

Timothy (carryiing a nearly empty open container and gesturing wildly: She isn't an idiot, he's an idiot!

Reporter: Ted says YOU'RE an idiot.

Timothy: YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

Reporter: Don't call me an idiot, I'm just trying to do my job.

Timothy: I meant that Ted West is an idiot.

Reporter: OK, then say that, I'm just trying to get information.

Timothy: OK, sorry.

Reporter: And frankly, we wouldn't be here if you had simply contacted Ted and told him you felt he was out of line.

Timothy: I was too outraged at the way he treated one of God's helpless little creatures.

Reporter: That's what she said.

Timothy: Huh?

Reporter: Do you ever watch The Office? Well, never mind…

Timothy: No, I watch The Office.

Reporter: Oh… then would you mind if I call you Kevin?

Timothy: What do you mean by that?

Reporter: I mean you're saying that liberal idiot, Corey, isn't an idiot, but she's helpless?

Timothy: She's misguided. I'm trying to reach out to her.

Reporter: How's that workin' out for ya?

Timothy: It's too early to tell, but the century's still young.

Reporter: Are you concerned that you're now at odds with someone who not only shares many of your views but who, many say, is the face of conservatism on Vox?

Timothy: He's not the face of conservatism, I'm the face of conservatism.

Reporter: He says you're the butt of conservatism?

Timothy: At least I don't treat people the way he does.

Reporter: Didn't you treat Ted worse?

Timothy: Humina, humina, humina…

Reporter: I LOVE The Honeymooners!

Timothy: What has that got to do with anything?

Reporter: Do you think there's any hope for a reconciliation?

Timothy: Aren't they all dead?

Reporter: Huh? Oh, no, not The Honeymooners, I mean between you and Ted?

Timothy: I don't know, maybe over time… if he can stop ridiculing idiots.

Reporter: Now, did you mean stop ridiculing helpless creatures, or does he have to stop ridiculing idiots as well?

Timothy: How does ridiculing anyone serve any purpose?

Reporter: Fun? Maybe they'll kill themselves?

Timothy: Jesus wouldn't do it.

Reporter: Didn't his dad invent Hell?

Timothy: Yes, but he doesn't ridicule the people he puts there.

Reporter: If you had to choose, would you put Ted or the liberal woman he criticized in Hell?

Timothy: Please get off my property.

Reporter: Is there anything you'd like to say to Ted right now?

Timothy: Yes, GET OFF my property! (takes a final big swig)

Reporter: Have you tried blocking him?

Timothy: «spit-take»

Reporter: One last question, Kevin…

Timothy: Timothy

Reporter: Sorry… if you had it to do over, would you do anything differently?

Timothy: I wouldn't live in Rosemead.

Reporter: Of course

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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6 Responses to Tracking Timothy In Rosy Rosemead

  1. Jack Yan says:

    Ted, remind me to never piss you off.

  2. TedWest says:

    Jack,
    I think you're looking at this with the wrong attitude. I take on people who are pompous, who are know-it-alls… hypocrites, weasels, amoral, relativists, two-faced, back-stabbers, weak-willed, and of course, wackos. You are not now, nor are you planning to be, any of those, are you?
    Besides, I always felt they should be flattered. After all, a person has to do something rather significant to merit this sort of attention, and if' you'll pardon my immodesty, no one does it better than I. I even have testimonials.
    And I can be wrong, and when I am, I admit it. It may not happen immediately since there's often a lot of research and fact checking involved, but when it's clear that I made a mistake, I'm happy to own up to it.
    Take Jeff, for example, I was completely wrong about him. When we first met, he said some things that I mistook as liberal, Then he showed me the error in my thinking and disclosed that he was Irish, and today we're fast friends, even if I find his twitters annoying. I mean, what are those anyway? I heard they're some sort of code used by covert operatives, but on the surface, they appear to be just idiotic?!?
    And one more thing, this works both ways. For example, if you were in my position, and Timothy showed even half as much disrespect for you, I'd have been all over him without you having to ask me for support. Sure you did wrong, but there's overreacting to it, and then there's what Timothy did, and frankly, even if I liked him better than you before, what he did was inexcusable, and so he'd either have to make it right, or it's not just bye-bye Timothy, it's don't show your face anywhere I am until I hear from Jack that all is copacetic. But that's just me.

  3. Jack Yan says:

    I did write the original comment with my tongue in my cheek, but I did plan on being a wacko. Twitter is a weird program. I plugged some of my blogs into it (automatic headlines), but other than that I don’t get the idea of “microblogging”. Maybe we are heading into the world where the ‘I love New York’ symbol becomes classical literature.

  4. TedWest says:

    Jack, this is interesting… you said yours tongue-in-cheek, and my reply wasn't really directed at you.

  5. I'm a stand up guy Ted- if I ever think that one of your posts are out of line on my blog you will be the first to know.

  6. TedWest says:

    I know that, Zak. The thing is that more often than not my posts are out of line on others' blogs. But don't get me wrong, I'm more disenchanted with Timothy than he is with me, and my regret is that saw the signs and ignored them. Remember I said that if there's anyone I hate more than liberals, it's conservatives? Timothy put a face on it, so to speak.

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