-This is a Ted News Alert-
It finally became clear yesterday why John has scrupulously avoided admitting to being wrong about anything ever when at 2:18pm he said the following to Dox:
"Sorry about the goof on TR."
The world immediately came to an end with the poor being hardest hit.
Details are sketchy as to why John would choose to make such an admission at a time of such great economic chaos. Observers say that he may not have understood the scope of the calamity his acknowledgment would generate which is troubling in itself.
As evidence, they point to John's remark immediately following his landmark confession: "its been a long week."
Analysts note that statement shows John felt he was not in complete control of his senses at the time of his screw up and that had he been of sound mind, he would never have committed the momentous mistake.
However, analysts further point to the glaring grammatical error contained in John's qualifier itself as evidence that he may still not be in full control of his faculties, and they say they are worried about long-term implications.
John himself offered no further details, but with the world beginning anew this morning, scientists will be watching John very closely with the intent of preventing a recurrence of this ugly incident in his lifetime.
This has been a Ted News Alert, I'm Ted West – now with a creamy Nugent center.