My Wife’s Verbal Rorschach Test

My wife and I have our computer screens to our front-right as we sit in the family room at might, and we read different articles while watching a movie or the Fox News lineup… or Chuck or The Office, of course, on their particular nights. We continually talk back and forth about what we're watching and reading, and I often send her links to something I think she might find particularly interesting.

I find it hilarious when I send her too many links, too fast, because each new one appears mid screen. Sometimes she's reading in an unaffected area, but more often, it lands smack on top of where she's at, and she'll quickly, without making a sound, drag the note top-right until she's ready to consider it. So when one follows another, sometimes in a matter of seconds because I'd been saving the links since I'd come across them earlier, they start to form a vertical row on her screen, and then there's the occasional "tsk" that gets me to laughing silently.

I mention all this because last night, after a while, I noticed we'd had a prolonged period of quiet, and there was a vertical row of notes on the right of her screen – she hadn't commented about anything, and I hadn't been screaming for a while, so I asked, "What are your reading?" Often her answer to that question comes back, "Things," but last night, I got an unusual reply – a Jeopardy style reply…

Wife: Who do you admire most?

Twenty years ago, I would have instantly said, Ronald Reagan, but that's just how long it's been since I've thought about it, and how long we've been just that short of heroes.

But still, it didn't take me ten seconds to respond.

Me: Rush Limbaugh

For an instant, I surprised myself, but as my thoughts caught up to my mouth, I realized that no one better embodies the values and attitude that made America what it is and would make it better than this brilliant man.

Yes, I said "brilliant." No one can do what Rush Limbaugh does, much less for five days a week for twenty years. He entertains while he educates. Even Ronald Reagan didn't do that. But Rush's brilliance isn't about longevity and perseverance, it's about how quickly the man thinks, and how often his instant analysis is both so dead on and immensely more detailed than any two other people could hope to come up with during a long dialogue.

Wife: He's a lot like you.

Me: No, I'm something like him… but just in the way we think, I wish I could be like him in demeanor. I'm much closer to Michael Savage.

Wife: Oh yeah!

Me: Limbaugh's amazing. He really does it the right way. People accuse him of being arrogant, but God knows what I'd be like if I were that right, that often, the way he is. I think he's actually very humble. He puts up with callers I couldn't tolerate for a second, and he usually so gracious and affable and funny, and I'm often astounded because he doesn't need that nonsense. He's truly giving himself for his country and what he believes in.

(Pause)

Me: Why did you ask me who I admire?

Wife: I'm reading an article about Rush Limbaugh.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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