When Good Clowns Go Bad

With great regret, I must tell you that Snowy may not be seen around these parts again anytime soon, and no, it's not because of global warming.

I've tried to be very clear that unlike many blogs, I have rules*. Granted they change to suit my whims and they only apply to liberals, but hey, I'm the minority, so I can do that. Besides, the current ones have been in place for like weeks now (I'm talkin' rules, not liberals), and what would people… and liberals think of me if I made rules and then didn't hold liberals to them?

Forget you, what would I think of myself?

See, many years ago, I decided that what I say and do in public should be like a show. I try to present things in an interesting and provocative manner, and I would hope that the responses further that aim. That's why if someone writes or does something that amuses me, it doesn't have to conform to most of my other rules.

Unfortunately, Snowy flaunted the rules to my face, so God knows what he was doing behind my back, and he was clueless about "funny," so much so that when it came to a sense of humor, well, let's just say he was an African-American hole.

He did, however, seem to fancy being boring. Worse than that, he had the temerity to be redundant. that's like boring². What am I saying, he was boring, redundant, and liberal. That's like mind-numbing³!?!

OK, I'm not sure about the math, but I am sure about Snowy. I know that I hate coming to my own blog and reading things that are nastier than the notes my wife leaves me when she discovers toenail clippings on the kitchen counter. That's only happened a few times, and it's because I can't control what direction they fly in, so some don't land in the sink.

Anyway, it's one thing to go to one of your blogs and read stuff that would send me on a shooting spree in real life, it's quite another to see it here, yet inevitably, when I delete something, the person who wrote it thinks it was a gem. I'm sure you can understand that were I to try to explain that it actually wasn't, not only would they not agree, but I'd have spent even more time indulging the very idiot whom I couldn't stand to read one second longer in the first place.

Thus my One Strike and You're Out policy (which replaced my old One Stroke and You're Out policy). And since Snowy had already been here when I voted on the new policy and found that it passed unanimously after conducting a recount, he was grandfathered in.

And today grandfather's clock stopped. If you see Snowy, you may want to explain all this to him, and if you do, be sure to tell him, no hard feelings, I just believe in the rule of law, and after a fair trial, the judge ruled he was no longer fit to wear the red nose and big feet. Though like a Catholic priest, he'll still be a clown for life.


Editor's note: I see that Snowy has his own account of the incident in which he claims he was only defending himself. If that's the case, he went about it the same way other jackasses do – by braying and kicking with his hind legs…

Yes, you read that right, do I need to draw you a picture?


*Printed copy available on request. You pay only for shipping and handling. Please allow six to eight weeks for delivery

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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4 Responses to When Good Clowns Go Bad

  1. Endeesea says:

    Very, very poor form, Ted, to abuse anyone of any ideology without offering or even accepting right of reply.

  2. TedWest says:

    Stop being a moron for a moment and pick a subject.

  3. Endeesea says:

    been there, done that. When you're up to scratch, we can begin

  4. TedWest says:

    OK< but when I said "a moment," I didn't mean for you to take it so literally.

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