The Funniest Financial Crisis Ever!

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that this is the first financial mess that's more hilarious than scary what with this being the funniest election ever, but it's like: "We interrupt this election to bring you a serious financial crisis already in progress."

When it all hit the fan and ever since, the Democrats have been screaming that they aren't to blame, that it's all the fault of George Bush-Phil Gramm-John McCain. Just one problem: it isn't.

And no less authority than Bill Clinton said just that on Larry King last night when he momentarily suspended campaigning for Barack Obama in order to defend John McCain.

Now I never thought I'd say this, but Lewinsky, impeachment, the vast right-wing conspiracy, lying under oath, it's all forgotten, and for one very good reason: Bill just told us what the meaning of "is" is…

As in, "There is not going to be an Obama Presidency if I can help it."

So there Clinton was in all his splendor saying that the thing the Republicans did wrong a decade ago was that they didn't stop him and the Democrats when they had the chance. He actually said that.

It's exactly like that scene in Animal House when Flounder was looking at the ruins of his brother's Lincoln Continental and Tim Matheson says something to the effect of, "Yeah, Flounder, I know it looks bad, but let's face it, you trusted us… you effed up."

Clinton's comments came in defense of John McCain suspending his own campaign to return to Washington to solve the crisis as only he can. Bill said that he believes McCain is sincere because McCain certainly doesn't fear debates since he wanted Obama to debate all over the place and… Well, Bill didn't finish that, but if he had, it would have sounded about like this: "I know John McCain, and Obama's no McCain.

Then Clinton added that after his global initiative campaign and the Jewish holidays, he'd get right back to vigorously campaigning for Obama!

Meanwhile, for his part, Obama fell back into Messiah mode saying that he's watching everything very closely, and that if it becomes clear he's needed, he'll jump right in. Who said a President can't vote "present?"

Of course, if that 3am call never comes, it means he wasn't needed. Apparently he didn't think of that.

Besides, why would the Dems need the guy who came in second in the Fanny/Freddie contributions extravaganza when they already had the first place winner in Christopher Dodd?

So here we are, it's Thursday afternoon in the nation's capital, and I think it's about time for the saucer to land in the form of a deal which, I suspect, Republicans will be only too happy to give McCain credit for this time around. And I don't know about you, but the suspense is already building in me as to whether McCain will be there for the debate tomorrow night.

My wife asked me this morning what I felt the odds are, and I told her, better than 95 percent, and that was even before there was the deal rumor. McCain just gave the youngster a lesson in the value of experience, and it will be complete when Obama is standing onstage tomorrow night waiting to see if McCain shows up.

Can you picture it? Obama being all about hope, will he be hoping McCain walks out or not? Yeah, I know my fantasy is too good to be true, but no matter what happens, McCain has scored a coup. Obama was relegated to watching in the shadows, while McCain was getting all the attention. Sure a lot of it was negative, but who was it that said there's no such thing as bad publicity?

I gotta say, for a senile old man, McCain seems to be a lot sharper than the young poser… and enormously funnier and more energetic, and if anything, I think he's stoked interest in the debate.

Oh, that reminds me, some liberal woman called in to Mike Gallagher this morning, and she actually thought this was a good idea for her side… she said sarcastically, "Why doesn't McCain just have Sarah Palin stand in for him?"

Gallagher was momentarily stunned as was I. That's how crazy liberals are – she thought Obama debating Palin would be a positive? For Obama?! If that were to actually happen, they should change it to pay-per-view! I think it would draw Super Bowl numbers. And Obama's no Donovan McNabb, unless you mean that he'd make a better quarterback than a President?

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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