The Trouble With Snowy

Here we went again, folks. Snowy, our resident King of the Liberal Loons dropped in yesterday to apologize for making a fool of himself. Naturally, I graciously accepted his admission as is my nature. But the main problem with being the least bit civil to a liberal is that he interprets it as being a sign that you regard him as a fellow human.

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth, but mistaking civility for something more, he then believes he's welcome, and worse, that I might want his input.

So let me be as clear as I can. There is nothing that any liberal has to offer on anything political or anything that could be made political, or anything that contains any of the letters found in "political."

OK, so Snowy apologized for providing me great entertainment for two days by him falling victim to a hoax by one of his own (which explains why they don't need conservatives to make them look stupid) he then swears that I won't have him to kick around anymore – thus providing me with one moment more of entertainment before (I thought) he was leaving.

However, apparently thinking we'd made a love connection, Snowy decided to hang around a while, thus tempting fate, and sure enough, the old axiom held true: All Liberals are Idiots most of the time, and some liberals are idiots all of the time.

From my knowledge of Snowy, he falls somewhere in between – like he's probably not that stupid when he's sleeping.

Anyway, Snowy suffers from Palin Derangement Syndrome, and that's like stupid with a cherry on top, as our recent hoaxer gave testament to, and it's why Snowy felt the need to apologize to me in the first place. From Obama on down, Sarah Palin causes insane men to be insane², and that's almost never a good thing.

So a mere half day after Snowy said I'd never be amused by another faux pas of his creation, there he was pushing the amply discredited lie that our Sarah said that Iraq was a task from God. Which, if nothing else, proves he doesn't even listen to his own media… although who could be blamed for that?

Then, when it's brought to his attention that if he were American, he'd be the living symbol of the Democrat Party, he gets all huffy and starts braying and pulls a Margaret Dumont… "Well I NEVER…!"

To which Groucho responded, "Well… it's early yet."

This makes at least the third time Snowy has left here vowing never to return, which demonstrates another liberal axiom – Their word is as good as their reasoning.

Now I like Snowy when he's not talking politics. I'm certain he's a decent missing link. But I mean, as soon as I saw him here, I thought, what did I do to deserve this now? I know it would please Snowy if he could find some common ground with me, but that could only happen if somehow we came to share a grave.

The worst part is that I used to relish these encounters. I used to thrive on conflict. I used to enjoy trying to get liberals to focus think logically for the first time in their lives, and then watching them twist in agony as the marched deeper and deeper into unfamiliar territory. But no more.

It's always the same, only the accents change. From Mensa Boy to mouth-breathing nuts like the prankster whose endeavor only snagged Snowy, I've seen them all, and dozens of times, the poor reasoning, the litanies, the bad grammar, and their belief that they're smarter than you even though nothing in their entire academic record would encourage them to think something so preposterous.

And I really think Mensa should require a best two out of three IQ tests before they admit somebody, because after that last guy here, I'm certain he just got lucky on the multiple choice.

So to Snowy, I won't say goodbye, I'll say, "Happy trails…" because not only will we meet again, but you'll always be trailing.

TED NEWS ALERT: Even before I could post this, Snowy was back. I'm like Listerine!

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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15 Responses to The Trouble With Snowy

  1. Snowy says:

    Heh, heh heh, Anything to divert attention from your Tina Fey/Sarah Palin faux pas, and ditto for your "Palin didn't say God sent us into Iraq" clanger. But I won't tell anyone Ted. And yes, I had to respond to a post that was dedicated to me. The right of reply is called "courtesy". Look it up. But no more please. I really do have better things to do.

  2. TedWest says:

    I take back everything I said about you being a typical liberal idiot. You are, beyond any doubt, the single biggest moron I've ever encountered.
    It's one thing to be gullible about a perfectly real looking fake site, it's quite another to fall for an actual trap designed especially for you. My wife said that no one would believe I thought that was Sarah and Hillary, if for no other reason than the other woman looks nothing like the Queen of Scum. I told her I agree, but that it was worth a shot.
    Of course, there was also the enormous amount of pre-publicity, but you probably didn't hear it what with being downumder and all.
    And VOILÀ!!!
    Decades ago, I met my boss at his car dealer in the morning. They were going to repaint his car under warranty because the paint was failing. When we got to work, I called him posing as a dealer representative and I told him that upon closer inspection, they could only justify painting the front half under warranty, and that it would cost three hundred bucks for him to have the back half done, but that I recommend he do that otherwise the paint might not match exactly..
    Then I hung up and I and the the rest of the office, whom my co-worker had informed as to what was transpiring, waited for the reaction.
    Mike came storming out of his office into his bosses office who was also his friend, and everyone could hear him screaming about how he was getting screwed.
    His boss was also told about what I was doing and he commiserated but said Mike probably had no recourse. Mike then stormed back out, face beet red, and he noticed everyone staring. Suddenly everyone busted out laughing, and I had nabbed the biggest sucker ever…
    Until today.
    There was good reason for Mike to believe he was getting hosed, but you have no excuse. You are indeed a fool's fool.
    What's worse is… I won't apologize.
    Now be gone, and let's hope this teaches you a lesson about what happens when you try to play with the big guys.
    Now go ahead, make my tomorrow and say that I made all that up to save face.
    Then ask one of your stupid friends for his opinion.

  3. Snowy says:

    Nice try. You never know, someone might believe you, especially your conservative mates, as they seem to believe anything. Nothing about the Saint Sarah God gaffe though, I notice. I guess you're still working on that one. Keep spinning. And I'll keep laughing.

  4. TedWest says:

    Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I had feared you wouldn 't come back, and I was saving the best for last…
    See, sane people know that when they're in a hole, they stop digging… not Australians, apparently.
    So allow me to put the final nails in your coffin, you amazing dolt…
    When the two people who responded to my "Sarah on SNL" entry said they wished they'd seen it, I stupidly referred them to Fox to see the clips. It didn't dawn on me at that moment that I was giving myself away. See, if I'd seen that they were playing clips on Fox over and over, how could I not know that wasn't the real Sarah?
    I mean, did I pull an Obama and happen not to be present for each and every lead-in and the subsequent comments?
    Explain that, Koalahead?
    Now I just related all this to my wife, and here is her comment:
    "Besides, they wear different glasses, and I believe the Hillary character even noted that "Sarah" was wearing "Tina" glasses."
    Now please, do yourself a favor and run all this by someone a little more aware than you and let him help you avoid further embarrassment.
    And nothing about the other because one can't reason with a fool such as you. Remember I stopped responding the last time you became uncontrollably stupid a few months ago?
    Now please, I'm beggin' ya, ask that guy who knows I'm way smarter than you to assist you in all this.

  5. Snowy says:

    And nothing about the other because one can't reason with a fool such as you.Says it all, doesn't it. You can't say anything about the Palin God gaffe, because the words come from the horse's mouth, and even TedWestspeak can't alter that. So the response is to bluster and hurl insults instead of admitting you got it wrong, dead wrong. At least you didn't delete this time, so I suppose that's a sign you're improving. Ok, it's been fun, but I will accept your invitation to leave. Your blood pressure does seem to be rising, and I know that's not good in a country with a health "care" system such as yours. Never mind, Saint Sarah will fix it. God told her to.

  6. X says:

    Just because, I have to ask, "What is this all about?"

  7. Snowy says:

    Just Ted and I having our periodic bout of fisticuffs. I don't think anyone really takes it seriously. I know I don't.

  8. TedWest says:

    Oh man, what gods did I offend to deserve this, the Vegemite Knight joined onstage by the San Francisco Treat?
    OK, sorry Hen, but I'm not extending any courtesies to liberals for the foreseeable future. I would, however, be persuaded to do so for an individual who demonstrates some objectivity, so in that regard, I invite you to give me a short position statement on Sarah Palin…?
    And Snowy. I'm putting you and everyone on notice that I won't permit any further libeling of Palin here. One strike and you're out forever.
    That does not mean you cannot criticize her or anyone, just as long as what you criticize is factual and… and this is key… substantive.
    So for example, the fact that she received compensation for travel to her home is not, repeat, NOT substantive unless further information comes to light. What she did is apparently lawful, and I believe it resulted in a substantial savings as compared to her predecessor.
    And of course, the lie about an Iraq holy war is completely off the table, and my mention of it here shall be the last, but with the same qualifier: pending new information.
    I've seen what you do on your blog, how you're fast and loose with the facts and how you bend them to suit your agenda. Neither you nor any other liberal is going to do that here. Anyone who tries will be deleted without notice and permanently blocked, no appeal.
    And I want to note how that will hurt me more than you because I'd miss your gullibility.
    So that's the score, and I realize that these simple terms will be unmanageable for you and most other liberals, but I no longer care. Entertaining such nonsense dampens my usual jovial spirit and its over.
    And it's not debatable. I'm the sole judge, and I know what I want to do and see here. The lone exception would be if your stupid rantings could be made funny, but since you've demonstrated no evidence of a sense of humor, I fear this avenue is closed to you as well..
    So good luck. You'll be missed, but you're either going to be dragged kicking and screaming into the world of truth and objectivity, or I'm done with you and other liberals.

  9. X says:

    Ted, of course I do not like Sarah Palin. But who cares?

  10. TedWest says:

    See, a perfectly reasonable comment, although the "of course" part was troubling, but I understand artistic license.
    And Hen, I care.
    I've said it to you privately, now I want to say it publicly because I owe it to you… you are, far and away, my favorite liberal!
    So now good luck with that.

  11. X says:

    Well if I was not a liberal, I would have stopped while ahead, but I can not avoid a liberal interpretation of this "favored liberal" status you've affronted, oops I mean afforded me. (It is so difficult to tell which sometimes.) I assume I am your favorite liberal because I show up so infrequently. Or is it because I stimulate laughter?Never the less, thanks for caring. (I assume that you were referring to Palin rather than myself.)But please could you tell me what this is all about, Ted? I've heard Snowy's side. I also want to hear yours.I give you full license to doubt my sincerity. I am – as has been pointed out – liberal with licensure.

  12. TedWest says:

    Oh.
    Please allow me to clarify. I care about Palin, sure, but I also care about you. I don't want to sound patronizing, but I've actually caught you thinking. Do you realize how rare that is for a liberal? Sure, I know, the people you hang with all think, right? Else how could you be who you are?
    Not so fast. One of the things that got me so involved in this all those years ago was seeing everyone who didn't think.So you probably believe there are others like you… I mean, I see you refer to Snowy there as if he thinks, but i can assure you there's been little evidence to support that contention.
    Then again, Snowy would argue that it is I who is muddled and confused. TO that, all I can say is, one of us is wrong.
    But enough of this tomfoolery You've asked me twice about what this is all about, and despite the bluster on my part I didn't answer you the first time because I didn't know what "this" was in reference to… this between Snowy and me? This stuff about the hoax, and how Snowy made a fool of himself?
    Because I wrote an entry about the hoax thing. Now you want me to repeat that especially for you? Perhaps as a bedtime story, maybe?
    Now if you mean what's the deal between Snowy and me, that's simple. he's a very nice person when he's not talking politics. I know, you're thinking the same about me, right? No, I'm really not that nice. or as my wife once put it, "You're hard to live with." Well, duh… I mean, the only responsibility she has after I make popcorn is to fill her bowl. I get the beer and the peanuts, and it's all supposed to gel such that when the top comes off the beer, she'd done filling her bowl and it all coincides with the start of a program. And invariably, she starts putting away dishes or "helping' me get the beer. NO, for Christ's sake! And this has been going on for years! then she has the nerve to get all mad because I "snapped" at her, and before you know it, she's muttering under her breath, and I really hate that.
    But the other part of it is that Snowy thinks he thinks, and that's OK, but then he feels compelled to drop in here from time to time and try to demonstrate it.
    Of course, he fails miserably, gets mad because I "insult" him, all the while that the "logic" he drops on me is not just insulting, it's inhuman. I mean, do I go to his blog and say stupid stuff? No, I confine that to my own blog as much as possible. Although, when I encounter John, I can't help responding because he's literally the dumbest smart person in the world… perhaps in the universe.
    I know, I know, I'm doing it to you again, but hey, you asked for it.
    So I hope I've either answered your question or at least steered you in the right direction, ha-ha…

  13. X says:

    Woah, I did not read about the Hoax. I do apologize that I spend little time on Vox because I miss so much. This is as entertaining as your blog. I am amazed that someone would go through the effort of creating a Hoax Naked Conservative site. I am surprised they haven't been banned. I am also astonished to see folks in their neighborhood. I would not however say that I am shocked nor am I in awe.My knee jerk reaction is skepticism. Meaning I have not put in the excruciating effort to think about it. As a liberal I am conservative with exercising my brain matter. But if I was to think about it (and possibly risk further global warming), I would wonder whether the Hoax is an honest Hoax. It feels like a hoax of a hoax to me.

  14. Snowy says:

    Ted reminds me of an old dog who really doesn't have much to say, so he wanders up and down the front fence all day barking the same old thing, stupid liberals, stupid liberals, smart Ted, smart Ted. And he's barked it so often that he's convinced himself that this is one of life's great truths. Now and again, other dogs with the same mindset will drop by, and they'll have a barking session together, and then they'll all disperse content in the knowledge that they actually said something.Occasionally a Snowy dog drops in to see if anything's changed, but it never does. Stupid liberals, clever Ted etc. So, the Snowy dog looks in bemusement for a while, and sees that Ted is looking a bit frustrated as no-one is paying any attention, so being the kind hearted dog that he is, he does Ted the compliment of paying him some attention. This makes the Ted dog very excited, and he barks, and he barks, and he barks, which makes him feel very important indeed. But eventually the Snowy dog moves on, because he can't waste too much of his valuable time in altruistic acts towards fellow dogs. So he leaves the Ted dog with something to bark about for days after about the most exciting thing that has happened to him in months. He's happy. Snowy's happy that he has done his charitable act. So everyone's happy.He does get a little confused though, and says stupid things like accusing Palin of libelling herself. Oh well, I guess he'll sort it out eventually.

  15. TedWest says:

    Hen,
    I really don't care about the nature of it all, and I agree with you that it must have taken some effort to construct. So I'm nothing but flattered. That Snowy fell for it is icing on the cake.
    The only thing I felt compelled to do was to file a complaint (to which VOX has never responded, and I did so because if I let it go on, I'd be competing with myself, and aside from that being way too much effort, there is the distinct possibility that the alternate me would be more popular than me itself… er… well you know what I mean, and I'm already consumed by self-loathing.
    Now Hen, if you really want to get on my good side, please explain to me, did Snowy make any sense there or did he make an even bigger fool of himself than he has over the past few days?…
    I mean, I'd ask him myself, but I fear I'd only get more of that, and well, frankly, you being you, I thought maybe you could translate the liberal mind into English? And failing that, even gibberish will do?!?

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