Another Liberal, Another B.J.

Did you hear about the latest liberal to get sucked into a B.J.? This one also got him membership in the Mile High Club, and it has ties to someone right here on VOX.

Of course, I'm talking about a former DNC chairman's comment that Gustav “just demonstrates that God is on our side.”

He made the comment in reference to possible new devastation in New Orleans that would coincide with the opening of the Republican Convention, and fortunately or not for him, it got preserved for posterity. It seems that the guy sitting behind him just happened to have a camera rolling.

What a coincidence that the guy who uttered the shocking comment just happens to be named Fowler, eh? That's -Don Fowler- to give you a proper introduction.

Since there is no defense for what he said, and he certainly wouldn't have said such a thing at, say, a press conference, Fowler chose to explain himself by employing the same tactic used so unsuccessfully by another, slightly better known liberal dirtbag, John Kerry:

Fowler chose the "Botched Joke" gambit.

I mean, he was laughing when he said it, so it must be a joke?

Here's the complete text:

"The hurricane’s going to hit New Orleans about the time they start. The timing is — at least it appears now that it’ll be there Monday. That just demonstrates that God’s on our side. [Laughter] Everything’s cool."

Hilarious!

All right, I confess I don't see the humor, but I'm not a liberal so I'm a few years behind.

But that wasn't meant for publication anyway. He didn't really mean it… it was just a throwaway.

Although he really did think it, but comedians think weird things all the time.

Although comedy is rooted in truth, so… I'm only getting more confused.

Let's concede it was a joke. I mean Fowler's certainly a moron, but he wasn't really hoping that New Orleans be devastated again, hundreds and thousands more people dying, it was all figurative. The trouble is that maybe Fowler didn't really want death and destruction to revisit themselves on New Orleans, but there would be plenty on his side of… reality… who would delight in such an event if it served to remind people of the chaotic Republican directed response to Katrina.

Like good Communists everywhere, Liberals would not hesitate to sacrifice their own for the good of the party.

So let's reduce this to the absurd for the moment and put you in Fowler's shoes.

As luck would have it, the video of your remark has found its way to YouTube… what would you do next, and remember, you're a liberal now???

Well, what you absolutely wouldn't do is accept full responsibility. Liberals don't do that. And you darn sure wouldn't show any shame, liberals don't know what that is. No, what you'll do is find something that you think is equivalent that some conservative has said. It won't make you look better, but at least it will provide a reference point and besides, misery loves company.

You grasp for straws and you come up with Jerry Falwell's remarks about 9/11 being God's payback for our having strayed so far from His commandments.

Hey, you needed something in a hurry, and it makes sense to you, right?

Then the real problem becomes, what was that guy doing recording you? He's the real bum. He may even have committed a crime!? How dare he record something simply because it was audible! And how dare he put it where everyone else could hear it when it was just an unserious comment you made to a friend…

"One doesn't anticipate that one's private conversation will be surreptitiously taped by some right-wing nutcase, but that's the nature of what we're dealing with," Fowler says… and you agree, because you're playing a liberal.

Then, of course, you issue a perfunctory apology, that's plenty good enough and more than anyone deserves, to wit:

"If this offended anybody, I personally apologize. It was a mistake, and it was a satirical statement made in jest. And one that I clearly don't believe."

Uh, that probably should read "one that I clearly don't believe got recorded," but why quibble?

That's it then. You completed the liberal Apology Checklist, and it's behind you, right?

Well, not exactly. Let's work backward, shall we?

IF this offended anyone, you apologize? IF? What if it offended no one, then no apology necessary, your conscience isn't affected even on reflection? On the other hand, you're that much of a liberal idiot that you think there's a possibility no one was offended? Or is it that, clearly, anyone who'd take offense is being overly sensitive, so here, take this apology and STFU?

How about those who took you seriously but weren't offended? Any regrets for the example you may be setting as a high-raking dimwit?

And about the guy who posted the video, the right-wing nutcase? Are you sure that's what he is? I only ask because some of your even dumber followers will take what you say at face value, and the reason I say that is because they have.

But isn't it just possible that the guy just got a dream scoop and being the news-hound he is he rushed it out there? Or could it be that he had to be a "right-wing nutcase" because no "reliable" member of the media would do you like that?

Really, don't you owe right-wing nutcases… and all journalists an apology now too? I only ask because if somebody had recorded, say, Lindsay Graham saying something like you said, wouldn't you expect anyone who caught it on tape to publish it?

Now as for the comparison to Falwell, there are several slight problems, not the least of which was that he intended his remarks to be public.

He also wasn't wishing for disaster, he was lamenting what he felt was the result of America no longer subscribing to that "In God We Trust" motto. And whether he was misguided or not he hoped the 9/11 tragedy would cause people to turn back to God and principles, he wasn't looking to advance himself or his church, he was hoping to advance mankind.

Oh, I know, your little botched joke was an effort to advance mankind too… by advancing the Democrats. Because God works in mysterious ways.

But your followers aren't as insightful as you. There's a guy right here on VOX who thinks your "apology" makes perfect sense as stated – that Falwell's comment was way worse, that the guy who "intruded on your privacy" was absolutely a right-wing nutcase, and that there was nothing to apologize for in the first place. Furthermore, he knows this whole sordid mess is not an indictment of liberal "values," but of conservative ones.

And please excuse the quotes, it's just that I'm awaiting your or anyone's statement as to what liberal values are.

So anyway, his name is Snowy.

Yes, Snowy's a guy, well sort of anyway, and we've been all through the name thing long ago. I know it sounds like a girl's name, but he's Australian and apparently a lot of men there have girl's names. OK seriously, he either borrowed the name from some mountain range or he felt "snowy" perfectly characterized his thinking. I know him, and I'm sure Snowy is fuzzy, if you get my drift, ha-ha.

But see, Fuz… er… Snowy doesn't get the disconnect in comparing your predicament to Falwell, and he knows the guy who got you in one take is right-wing nuts and not someone named Caleb Howe who was covering the Damn… I mean, Dem convention for America Online.

And Snowy gets all huffy when you inform him that he's wrong, so maybe you could talk to him?

There's more to say about this and how it affects you who may be reading this, but enough for now.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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4 Responses to Another Liberal, Another B.J.

  1. Jordan says:

    Excellent analysis!!!

  2. Jordan says:

    Ooopps…There was more to my comment than, "Excellent analysis."I couldn't, wouldn't have stated it any better. However, your spiel reflects and touched on everything I thought.It won't be long before some dimwit – or more – will start turning the President, RNC and McCain genuine concern for those in the path of Gustav into negative publicity.Hopefully, more people will see the true colors of liberals and their running team. Everytime they open their mouths, lies drop out.

  3. TedWest says:

    I don't want to get ahead of my upcoming second installment, but I simply won't be nice to any liberal anymore. To be liberal is to be irrational, and while almost everything they deal in is deceitful, most of them don't even realize they're liars and worse because they can't understand logic and rules of evidence, not to mention that they have formed an alternative universe in which their ideas lead to Shangri-la – instead of mass destruction that we'd get if they were able to implement their programs in the real universe.

  4. Jordan says:

    If the sequel is as good as part 1 I am all ears.

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