John Edwards – Democrat

Is there anyone who's more representative of the Democrat Party than John Edwards? And is there anyone who's behavior is more emblematic of Democrats? So today he came right out and admitted that he'd had the affair about which rumors have been swirling, and he said so now… because he got caught with his pants down. No, not literally, but it was that close.

He says the baby which inconveniently appeared around nine months later is not his. We won't take him at his word, but only because he'd given his word that he hadn't had an affair in the first place. Otherwise, we would. But if the baby wasn't his, why was he recently caught visiting the mother? Because he certainly couldn't still be having sex with that moman?"

Mr. Haircut further claims that he started the affair when his wife's cancer was in remission, and that Elizabeth is aware of it. Was it a reward for his attentiveness when she first became ill… "Oh Johnny, you need a break now, why not have that affair you always wanted?"

Johno says this all happened in 2006. Let's see, what else was he doing then… preparing to run for President?" Do you think he got any tips from Bill Clinton?

And perhaps even more important, remember all the attention Republicans got from the media in recent years for far less grievous offenses? I bet the media is now going to hound Edwards like you couldn't believe… although that would also hurt Elizabeth, so maybe they'll try to restrain themselves this once?!?

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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4 Responses to John Edwards – Democrat

  1. He was thinking with his little head.

  2. Did you not know that John was a Democrat. That probably means a relative concept of morality. That means personal morals/actions are only relative to the moment. You really expected something else. The way he would have changed America; More little kids would grow up just like him. The same way President Clinton changed America.

  3. I guess he is just a plastic Ken doll after all.

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