The Age Of Endarkenment

Here's a twist: "The lights are off, but everybody's home!"

That could just be the new slogan that saves the planet from all possible disasters both known and unknown. I like it.

So do you feel cooler today after the world shut its lights off for an hour last night? If all went as planned, summer will arrive a day later this year and take some pressure off the butterflies.

I don't know about where you live, but something amazing occurred right here in Phoenix last evening. The news report said that at Chase field, the home of the Arizona Diamondbacks, in the seventh inning, they closed the retractable dome in observance of "Earth Hour."

Did you get that? The article didn't say they played baseball in the dark That could only benefit the Diamondbacks this season. No, they closed the dome so that those enormously bright lights weren't visible to inspectors.

OK, there probably weren't any inspectors, but one day there will be, don't you think? And fines? And imprisonment?

Maybe that's too strong. It'll probably just be jail time. So at least your relatives will be able to visit without traveling for hours, burning gas, and adding a thousand times more CO2 to the air than your light bulb did.

And isn't the Diamondbacks' gesture the perfect symbolism for the "movement?" It says, "We'll keep doing what we've been doing, we'll just be less obvious." Hollywood does it even better. The stars fly all over, many in private planes, and they tell you to conserve. The stars are exempt, and you want it that way because after all, the show must go on.

So if you're one who joyously participated in "Earth Hour," do congratulate yourself. You added a little more darkness to our world. What should we call it, D'Earth? That's French, you know. And what shall we call you participants? By Jove, I think I've got it! How about Darkies?


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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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5 Responses to The Age Of Endarkenment

  1. dox^2 says:

    I wonder how much *power* was utilized to close the dome?

  2. TedWest says:

    First off, thanks for participating. I wondered if I might have scared people off this one time only.
    Second, good point.
    Third, you're not trying to make me think you've returned from the dark side, are you 😉

  3. It's symbolism over substance, what a joke, another incredible delusion of the maddening crowd.

  4. TedWest says:

    The Phoenix Verdict: No appreciable difference in energy use

  5. Chad says:

    Very nice, Ted. I'll cross post this over at Thanks,

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