Warming Wackos Want You In The Dark

John Fogerty may seem to have been decades ahead of his time when he sang, "Put a candle in the window…" but he was actually an environmental terrorist. Didn't he know a lit candle is a horrific polluter?
That's why, in case you missed it, warmists want you to go all the way and plunge yourself into darkness Saturday night. The catchy slogan – "Turn Off, Tune Out, Drop Dead," so make sure you turn off all your lights, including TVs.
If you're going to be driving Saturday evening, the good news is that you only need to turn your lights off for one hour to make your statement. The bad news for city folks is that while street lights would ordinarily provide ambient light to aid lights-out drivers, this night, street lights will be off too. If you should find them on in your area, be sure to report your findings to local authorities or online at moonlightbecomesyou.com.
Meanwhile, there was a wonderful article the other day about the pluses and minuses of a warming Earth that you need to be aware of so you can make other intelligent choices. The writer, Seth Borenstein, the title: Global warming hastens spring's arrival
Who wants that? I mean, you know, besides me and billions of people around the world?
Well, Ruby begins by telling us that sure the cherry trees are blooming earlier (good), but that means the sneezes and watery eyes caused by pollen allergies are occurring earlier too (bad). Doesn't that mean hayfever season is over earlier then as well? No… we get "earlier, longer and stronger allergy seasons" according to a "controlled federal field study" that Seth failed to identify. But assuming he's right, would you rather shovel snow or sneeze? Slip or save? Freeze or flourish?
And yes, I know it's snowing longer and heavier this year, but if the warming nuts aren't bothered by facts, why would you demand that I be?
So let's not nitpick, because Seth has bigger concerns, anyway.
He allows as how "People may appreciate the smaller heating bills from shorter winters, the longer growing season and maybe even better tasting wines from some early grape harvests."
"Biologists also foresee big problems."
And what are those problems that biologists think are so big they overwhelm what people appreciate about a warmer world? More disease? Hardier viruses?
Try disappearing butterflies.
That's right.Did you know "The checkerspot butterfly disappeared from Stanford's Jasper Ridge preserve?" Seth says it's because rainfall patterns changed and that "The fingerprints of man-made climate change" are all over it (Seth 1:7). The natural law is immutable: When climates dry, butterflies die. Save butterflies, not BTUs!
Although it's clear why Seth chose writing as a career as opposed to, say, CSI investigator.
Now I grant you butterflies might be pleasant to look at, but what's the lifespan of your average butterfly before it finds itself glued to a display board? And would you sacrifice a butterfly for more tomatoes? Tomatoes are beautiful too, and never more so than when one splatters on the face of an unsuspecting warmalarmist…
And FYI, tomatoes are much better eatin' than butterflies. 
Round Al Gore says you're a Flat Earther if you don't -believe-. Me, I believe… I believe that somewhere in the Saturday darkest night, a candle glows, and I believe for everyone who goes astray, some warmist will come to show the way…

Tax People, Not Polar Bears!

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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