Dem Dems Love Dem Smooth Talkers

I've seen a few elections in my life, but none better than this, at least so far. Both parties are in chaos, and we're rewarded with a near daily spectacle. Even better, that chaos has the potential to last right through election day. You younger folks have to trust me, it doesn't get any better than this.

As fun as it might be to relive the rage and bigotry (age and race) so far, I'd like to do a bit of speculating if for no other reason than to show that my imagination is as fervid as anyone's. Ready?

John McCain will not moderate his stances on "global warming" and immigration, but as evidenced by Ann Coulter just today, conservatives will continue to cite the relatively innocuous McCain-Feingold as their single biggest outrage. McCain himself will need a charismatic running mate, and he may be out there, I just don't know who that might be.

As McCain's opponent, I sure hopes it's Barry. Did you hear him last night? There's so much nothing that when he does say something, you can't be faulted for missing it. However…

While it's hard to determine the size of his cult, let's hope that for whatever reason, Americans see what it is they'd be electing and get properly scared. Since there is plenty of time, and I assume that Obama will eventually have to detail a position or two, I can still marvel in amusement that anyone besides the young and the stupid can find this guy a credible candidate.

But what if Hillary stumbles into the nomination? She may be a lousy candidate now, but that's because she can't take the gloves off the way she would in the general election. Not that she hasn't tried, but when she does, it's either awkward or someone cries "fowl."

Er… make that "foul." Why just yesterday, there was Ed "The Pig" Rendell trying to appeal to the Dems deep-seated racism, and it immediately bit him on his big backside. Of course he ascribed the bigotry to Republicans, but it failed because Democrats easily saw it's intended result – to get them scared and to turn them back to Hillary

What make this even better is that it would seem that whoever gets the Democratic nomination, they need the the other as their VP. Can you imagine the weeping and gnashing of teeth if Hillary sneaks in and picks someone else as her running mate? It might seem easier for Barry to pick a non-Hillary, but that's only because the resentment would likely be lower in terms of decibels.

Which brings me back to why I want Obama to get the Dem grand prize - he'll be doing more talking, and while his believers think that's a good thing, it's also the Republicans biggest hope – because the more he talks, the less he says… and the more he says at the same time, as in, "damn it's a long way to November, can I maintain this bluff well enough to get elected?"

You probably heard what happened the other day when Frank Luntz asked a bunch of Obamorons what his accomplishments were and they couldn't name one. Oh they said -stuff-, just nothing that amounted to an accomplishment – even when taken all together.

But if Hillary were their candidate, and she picked The Oman, things could be really ugly for Republicans. A veep spot would placate Obimbeciles, and Hillary would benefit by getting all the votes from both sides. In the reverse, Hillary would not be excited about a vice chair, and neither would her "fans" (the quotes are there because really, can anyone actually be a fan of Hillary?) since the living conditions would be inferior, and it would mean she would never be President unless someone assassinated Obama which would bring back that whole Vince Foster unpleasantness and then some..

Nope, Hilsupps need her to be prez, and they aren't wedded to Obama. And those liberal bigots aren't gonna vote for Obama either, but you know what's interesting? If barry were to be the nominee, and there was that "Bradley Effect," they can't blame conservatives – but you know they'll try. Somehow, conservatives will have brought the worst out in liberals.But hey, McCain needs those bigots because conservative bigots have deserted him.

I'm -kidding-, man, they warned me you evangelicals have no sense of humor.

Well anyway, those on the right are getting payback for sitting on their hands for eight years, and the Clintons are finally being defeated as the song goes, "in the most delightful way."

In Barry's victory speech last night, he implied that he's gonna save the country one job at a time.. and he's gonna do other things too. Get ready for a new direction, 'cause we're in for a change. And it appears that the fastest way to get there is off a cliff.

McCain, at worst, will take us for a leisurely drive off that same bluff.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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6 Responses to Dem Dems Love Dem Smooth Talkers

  1. W says:

    He's referring to Barack, I think.Ted: good read. I have to keep reminding myself that this is, indeed, an interesting election to watch – despite how disappointing it might be.

  2. TedWest says:

    Really, there's never been an election like this since maybe Kennedy-Nixon, but I can't testify to that one. Let's see, there was Johnson declining to run. That was interesting. Eagleton's shock treatments, and then every election up to Bush-Gore was rather dull as I recall, and 2000 should have been dramatic, but far less so than what Gore manufactured it to be..This has promise for being interesting right through to 2012
    Zak, my renaming is possibly less out of contempt that it may appear. I simply have great difficulty using names that I find uncomfortable, and Obo has two. But in my defense, I hate at least one of my own and am going to change it. In fact, I've been in the process of doing so for more than 20 years now. I was waiting for my parents to die. Now I need to get to the courthouse, and I would if it weren't for the warrants.

  3. W says:

    re: Name ChangingI don't know what struck me as being so funny about that, but I laughed out loud. And not just in that 'lol' kind of way.

  4. I completely changed my name when I was 25 years-old. But Hillary's name should be Illary Schister.

  5. Jeff D says:

    You want Marion Barry to run as McCain's VP? 🙂

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