The Presidential Name Game

There was never going to be a President Huckabee, even if his name didn't have the past tense of "hick" already embedded in it. I mean, I like redneck common sense as much as the next guy… but I don't like all the other accoutrements, such as fried squirrel, that go along with it.

But even if Huck's name conveyed all the best qualities that America represents, he couldn't be President because we don't allow our Presidents to have weird sounding names.

That's why Rudy also had an uphill battle from the start despite what any polls may have said in the beginning. Our strangest Presidential names were Fillmore and Eisenhower, and they're a far cry from a Huckabee or a Giuliani… or an Obama.

I'd like to think it's just that people want Presidents whose names convey a certain amount of strength, but it could be more than that. Names that don't ring Presidential may remind Americans that the individual in question is too closely aligned with a minority, and they want a President to be in touch with all of America… or none of it as is the case with George Bush.

So McCain, Romney, and Clinton are well suited name-wise if not credential and criminality-wise. And of the three, Romney seems the most regal. I just wish he'd stop acting like it, because as Washington said, "America isn't down with kings" (you know how strangely they talked back then).

And if McCain or Clinton gets elected, I suspect we'll come to regard the Bush years with great fondness, and that might even include liberals.

If you don't like what I've said here, I'm sorry, but I've boarded the Straight Talk Express… whoo, whoo…

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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