The Top Ten Things I Learned From Iowa:

The Top Ten Things I Learned From Iowa:

10) That Hillary's almost as annoying to Dems as she is to Republicans

9) That if you build it, they will come, but most will forget their Mitt

8) That there's more interest in Thompson than he has in himself.

7) That a President Giuliani is almost as unlikely as a President Huckabee

6) That McCain may be the unstoppable force that needs to be stopped

5) That Duncan Hunter would have a better chance if he changed his last name to "Donuts"

4) That Britney Spears' standoff with police was way more interesting

3) That John Edwards is living proof it doesn't take brains to be a lawyer

2) That there's less prejudice than blacks and liberals lead us to believe, and far less than they need

And the #1 thing I learned from Iowa:

That there's a lot more in Huckabee's background than I was aware of – specifically, baldness

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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14 Responses to The Top Ten Things I Learned From Iowa:

  1. TedWest says:

    Now hold on… you have Democratic friends?

  2. Even I have some friends whom are Democrats. LOL

  3. malaventura says:

    I once had one, too. Then I found out.

  4. I was shocked that Hillary scored third in the whole thing, but not as shocked as when I saw Huckabee's rear profile and that bald spot…LOL!

  5. malaventura says:

    Now, really, how f*cked up can one family be?The family apparently evacuated to LaPorte from New Orleans after
    Hurricane Katrina and then evacuated to Houston from LaPorte after
    Hurricane Rita, she said.At least she left the toddlers alive, so the elders could eat them.

  6. Is this story true? The mother is a disgrace to human beings and should have her tubes tied but then it's too late for the mess already created.

  7. A little shoe polish works wonders. LOL

  8. TedWest says:

    "Even I have some friends whom are Democrats"
    We all did at some point. My best friend here was ultra liberal. It wears on you – the lack of principles, the cheating, the lies. I vowed never again.
    A-man. I had the exact same reaction (I'm not kidding). I wonder what that means? Can a fez be in my future? And should Huckabee consider one?
    "A Harris County woman could face child endangerment charges after allegedly leaving eight children home alone while she traveled to Africa to marry a man she met on the Internet"
    You might not believe this, but I knew someone who did something similar. Her name was Diane. Burt knows her too, and I say 'was" because she's doubtless dead now. Her kids were already grown, but she left her husband and went to Durban to be with Internet guy. She had previously only talked about how happy she and her hubby were, and then suddenly – GONE!.
    Anyway, I caused a furor about it, I 'm proud to say. See, she sent me an email to explain why she disappeared and to say how happy she was, and I, being the caring person I am, decided to respond – by hitting "reply all."
    I may have mentioned what a despicable person I thought she was and called her a name or two, I can't remember, but to my surprise, I heard from all her friends and relatives, a few agreeing with me and more telling me what a horrible person I was (as if I didn't know).
    They even responded in a forum I had on Delphi, and those comments may still be there. I tried to find the forum and couldn't (one reason why I left Delphi in the first place). I'll have to check later when I have more patience..
    Of course, the woman in your story is black which raises the question: will she now be African-African, African-American-African, or something completely made up, you know, they way they do with their kids names?
    How did you come upon this story that ties in so nicely with the Iowa Caucuses?

  9. malaventura says:

    a forum I had on DelphiAnd I bet you've had this forum on Delphi for aeons, sitting there on your tripod, and you tricked the Greek savages into thinking, and now look what we got from it…I find such stories because I very effectively try to avoid all news.Burt, of course. I never assumed he'd be gone. How is the old fart? Still snickering his way through live on Shoah compensations?Today is not a good day. Andrew Olmstedt ist dead. I have no words. Life sucks. That's the only thing to rely on.

  10. Jack Yan says:

    I have friends from all walks of life. I even know a couple of communists.

  11. Jack Yan says:

    Malaventura, Maj Olmsted’s passing shocked me as well. He was a great milblogger, as well as a humble, intelligent and tolerant man. My heart goes out to his family.

  12. TedWest says:

    I didn't know of this man, and had only planned to say how sorry I was and how this shows that even though great progress has been made in Iraq, that of best are still dying and that we tend to accept that now since the numbers are low, though there is no realistic alternative.
    But then I spent an hour reading, and the more I read, the more choked up I got to the point where I started to question what I'm doing here.
    Still, this is all I can do, and if I wasn't doing it, I wouldn't have encountered you, and i would never been conscious of Andrew Olmstedt.
    So life goes on, and I'm thankful you found your way here to bring me this grief. If this doesn't demonstrate the absurdity of life, what does?
    i love you, Mal.

  13. Stop Hillary Care! LOL It's 'illary scare!

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