Guess What I’ve Named My Toilet?

Guess What I Named My Toilet?

They marched in "Martyrs Square" because a civilized British teacher gave up her decent life in order to try to bring savages into the modern world, and as advanced people in primitive lands are prone to do, Gillian Gibbons, committed the ultimate insult by naming a teddy bear "Muhammad."

No matter that under Sudanese law, the maximum penalty called for jail and lashing, and as abominable as that might be, in itself it's not nearly good enough for the Religion of Peaceniks.

They want her… you know… dead.

Lovely people these.

I'm sorry, did I just call them "people?"

Although this does help to explain Darfur a bit.

"Imprisoning this lady does not satisfy the thirst of Muslims in Sudan. said cleric, Abdul- Jalil Nazeer al-Karouri, "This an arrogant woman who came to our country, cashing her salary in dollars, teaching our children hatred of our Prophet Muhammad."

Catholics believe that the body of Christ is self-contained in each "host," but they aren't fanatic about it. So you might expect these "hosts" as they're called to be the most wonderfully tasting stuff imaginable, right?

You'd be wrong. They taste like cardboard… if cardboard were white.

But that's not the point, the point is that as a kid, you don't give much thought to the idea that if the host is actually as they say, the body of Christ (It's called Transubstantiation)…. and you're eating it… well… ?

Repulsive if you think about it, no?

But that might explain why Muslims don't eat pig?

Now if you don't mind, I've gotta skip to m' loo.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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16 Responses to Guess What I’ve Named My Toilet?

  1. W says:

    I'll be naming my next dog 'Muhammad.'I was originally going to go with 'Ahmedinejad,' but thought it'd be a little difficult to fit that onto a dog tag.

  2. Eudora says:

    ""Chants of "Kill her!" and "No tolerance: Execution!" rang out as hundreds of police in riot gear stood by, keeping the crowd contained but not moving against the rally.""
    Makes me want to go out and buy some teddy bears, but NO – really, I feel for this teacher.

  3. TedWest says:

    Thanks to you courageous people.
    Now, here's what James Taranto had to say today:.
    "The behavior the Associated Press describes in this report from Khartoum, Sudan, does not strike us as completely normal… Meanwhile, Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch and the Council on American-Islamic Relations have had the following to say about Gibbons's plight: ' . ' It's a statement that is all the more powerful for its brevity."

  4. TedWest says:

    An article in the Daily Mail drew near unanimous support for the woman and condemnation of Islam and the Sudan… save for this:
    "Get this woman out of this country. I appreciate that Islam is a peaceful faith, but this is not what I am reading about. The Sudan is a hungry and oppressed nation. They do not need to lose the support of the UN and NGO's who support their food programs and medical programs."- Jill (Ex-Pat), Virginia, USA

  5. Jack Yan says:

    I’m glad she didn’t get lashes or a long prison sentence which were both on the cards for her if the prosecution got its way.

  6. This is the dark side to the human condition and an example of the madness of crowds. It just happens to have a religion/culture as a trigger in this case. I had a colleague who was from Syria a few years ago. He had an engineering degree from a California university and was reared as a Muslim. His father is a medical doctor and has family in Syria and Italy. I had the pleasure of meeting his parents on one of their trips to California. If you were to spend some time to know him you might have the impression that he had grown up in America, as his attitudes were as American as anyone I’ve known. We became friends and spent time together outside of the office. Not every Muslim is like the barbarians in the Sudan.

  7. TedWest says:

    You're right, Zak, now I know of two who -may- not be.
    And your existential views are a luxury only civilized people can entertain. Me, I'm a big fan of "When in Rome," which is to say, you treat them as they'd treat you, but since we can't nuke 'em, at the very least we can starve 'em to death.
    Notice that clown above wants to do MORE for the Sudan. Fine, let her switch places with Ms. Gibbons.
    And your friend… sounds like a sequel to Not Without My Daughter may not be far off…

  8. Any fool who wants to be a "do gooder" and put their life on the line in the Sudan or other uncivilized local is welcome, they should think long and hard and study what happend to this woman because it will most likely happen to them.

  9. TedWest says:

    Well, I loved you answer, but I don't see how it results in masses of dead Muslims?

  10. I am indifferent to the actual conditions in the Muslim world. I can't raise enough money nor would I wish to be remembered as a conqueror, which in today’s PC culture would be labeled a mass murderer. Let them reform themselves using true liberal traditions of western civilization – or stew in their own misery. It is sad that the power mongers who control many of these countries are so evil that they convince their ignorant subjects to commit suicide in the name of Allah; last century it was Marx and Lenin. The more things change the more they actually remain the same. I believe in free market capitalism and question the metaphysical.

  11. Jack Yan says:

    Among extremists, the parallel is fair, Zak: there is little difference between those who kill in the name of a religion and those who killed because of a warped interpretation of Communism. Either way, it is taking something and using it as an excuse to murder. We have a group of Islamofascists, as President Bush once called them, who are little different from some of the Maoists of the 20th century.

  12. Islamofascism is the replacement set to communism. They are the new totalitarians. Human nature seems to be fixed. The totalitarian left ignores this fact and thinks that by creating new institutions by force they can remake human nature. I think that this is just a pretext to seizing power over others. I believe in the true liberal tradition of individual liberty where we uplift ourselves by accepting our personal responsibility to both others and ourselves in a free society.

  13. Jack Yan says:

    Hear, hear! With this definition of liberal, which I personally adopt, I am happily one of them. I don’t see any awful lot of them in your Democratic party (nor do I see many in our Labour).

  14. I’m with you Jack, that’s why I had to place the word “true” before the word liberal and write them both in lower case. The progressives as some on the left would prefer had taken the label “liberal” for their own, but since they believe in taking things that do not belong to them it is not surprising. In America we must call ourselves “libertarians” to distinguish ourselves from the left-liberals. Some conservatives also fall into the same camp as the true-liberal libertarians. I started out as a supporter of Senator Barry Morris Goldwater in 1964.

  15. Well Ms. Gibbons is a free woman now, flying back to the UK! Hip hip houray!
    Let that be a lesson to the "do gooders" of the world.

  16. TedWest says:

    On the bright side, this incident did more to demonstrate the primitive hate of Islam far better than blowing up Israeli civilians ever could.

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