“If”… Not The One BY Bread, The One ABOUT Bread

James Taranto:

Here is a bit of "journalism" that is ludicrous even by Reuters' standards:

If nothing is done to combat global warming, two of Florida's nuclear power plants, three of its prisons and 1,362 hotels, motels and inns will be under water by 2100, a study released on Wednesday said.

In all, Florida could stand to lose $345 billion a year in projected economic activity by 2100 if nothing is done to reduce emissions that are viewed as the main human contribution to rising global temperatures, according to the Tufts University study.

That equals about 5 percent of what economists project the state's gross domestic product will be by the end of the century.

Why is it news that some guys are speculating about what is going to happen 93 years from now? To put things in perspective, 93 years ago Woodrow Wilson was in his first term; Archduke Ferdinand had just been assassinated, setting off what would for decades be known as the Great War; the Soviet Union and commercial radio had yet to come into existence; Adolf Hitler was an enlisted man in the Bavarian Army; and Cleveland, Pittsburgh and Buffalo were among America's 10 most populous cities.

Just about everyone who reads this Reuters dispatch today will be dead by 2100. If that doesn't make this story "too good to check," we don't know what would.

Mr. Taranto didn't highlight the blue nothings, which is actually a pretty good alternate term for the warmalarmists, but I felt that Taranto missed a very important point because not one single person believes -nothing- will be done even if the alarmists meet the fate they warmly deserve.

On the other hand, looking back is a very effective technique to dramatize the innate stupidity of anyone who embraces the alarmist creed.

And just yesterday there were two blurbs from the constantly blurbing UN which is reveling in its new-found relevance. In the first, the faceless fools want 86 billion from us, the prosperous nations, to be dropped on the "developing" nations to help them cope with "warming" in a  global welfare program that's more akin to Affirmative Action.

In the second gaseous expulsion, the UN wants to let China and India pollute at will for two more decades while we must cut back drastically. Is this about global warming or global communism? Is immediate action on warming as urgent as they claim or is it not?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for any ongoing pollution. I mean if China and India fell in line and the Earth "cooled," it would only vindicate the know-nothing warmacolytes. But if the two most populous countries on Earth don't give a hoot and happily pollute… and the planet doesn't warm up (and I hope it does, btw), I get to gloat forever… or until the hour of my death – amen!

But if there is an afterlife… I hope they allow gloating… I mean, where I'm going, it would be the one thing I have to look forward to.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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