Hysteria Alert: Breaking News From 1959

Here's the headline:

The End of Oil is Upon Us. We Must Move On – Quickly

Is literally everything urgent nowadays? Didn't Brazil just find some enormous oil reserves? Don't we have huge unexplored areas that filthy liberals (pardon the redundancy) won't let us drill in? Are you as tired of this nonsense as I am?

Look at the first paragraph of the story and see if you're as convinced as Chuckie (the writer) is…

" If there are any lingering doubts as to whether the age of oil is nearing its end, the International Energy Agency has put them to rest and made it clear that only a massive and immediate investment in sustainable energy will prevent a global crisis."

Yep, the IEA has put it all to rest just like the the UN group: Intergovernmental Pigs on Climate Change has put that subject to rest.

Not to mention that the biofuels everyone is so keen on are not without problems themselves.

But of course, the real answer is – – more research funding. That will lead to more findings which will lead to more warnings… and more funding…

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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