The Top Ten Results If America Became An Islamic State
- National Anthem changed to that noise Islamic women make with their tongues when they celebrate
- Supreme Court upholds separation of church and state, orders lawyers who brought separation of mosque and state case be executed
- All space rockets and ships must face Mecca at all times
- No vulgarity on TV (unless you consider stonings to be vulgar?)
- Lower corn prices because – no pigs!
- No more technology races, instead, camel races!
- Global warming is Allah punishing infidels. Watch the world cool now that we control America
- We issue a formal apology to Saddam Hussein
- Liberals discover Muslim word for them doesn't exist, and neither will they
- We bomb Iran's nuclear weapons facilities immediately because we're Sunni!
- For image reasons, we urge Taliban to change their name to "TaliCAN!"
- We join OPEC, but we're considered an "outlier"
- We blow up Mount Rushmore
- Snail mail's out, camel mail's in! They're faster, carry more letters and don't shrivel in the sun
- Society becomes gay free – in more ways than one
And the number one result of an American Islamic State:
- The Beheading Channel!