Talkin’ Baseball – The Line Of The Day+

Barry Bonds hurt his toe so he may not play for the Diamondbacks series.

Mark Grace, D'backs color man with news you can use about that: "Your big toe… until you hurt it… you never know how much you need it."

So take a moment to stop and smell the big one from time to time.

And speaking of the Diamondbacks, they are the luckiest team in baseball history. With two weeks left in the season, they have a two game lead in the NL West, and they've done it with mediocre hitting and pitching.

Not only that, but they have what may be the worst manager in baseball history in the person (and I say that loosely) of Bob Melvin. Melvin is so bad that whenever he actually has to manage, they lose.

Anyway, in a sport overrun with statistics, I created my own – the Liability Factor. It's simple, anyone who bats less than .250 is a liability because he can't be expected to get on base even once in any given game.

The other day, the D'backs' starting lineup had seven liabilities. That's right, seven players under .250 and four were in the .230s.

When you're that bad, well, you know the American League's designated hitter rule? Few people are aware that the National League has a controversial rule of its own that says if you're below .240. you can't be awarded first base even if you get hit in the head.

Besides that, the amount of times they strike out is amazing, the number of times they leave runners on third with less than two outs is beyond one's ability to add or detract, and Melvin, all by his little lonesome self, loses a baker's (coincidentally, his previous job) dozen's worth of games each season just by leaving a pitcher in until he's given up seven runs or worked seven innings, whichever comes later.

And still they win.

But don't get me wrong, I expect a collapse before the season ends, and in a strange way, I'll be disappointed if it doesn't happen.

But I'll also be disappointed if Melvin doesn't have a stroke that's available on instant replay.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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