How Do You Spell Relief?

Some people will be relieved to hear that next year, we are cutting the number of National Guardsmen on the border by 50%.

Other people will surely be relieved to know that a new Pew Poll shows a big drop in Muslim approval of suicide bombings. As it stands now, only about a third of Muslims, on average, favor the tactic.

Still others will be greatly relieved that John Kyl plans to introduce a scaled down immigration bill before August 4th. He claims that he has learned from his mistakes with the recent failed bill and will make sure that people fully understand what's in  the new bill.

Many people will probably be relieved by new research which shows that if you're fat, chances are your friends will be too.

Most of us will be relieved by Elizabeth Edwards' announcement that she is giving up tangerines in order to combat global warming.

And finally, every last one of us is relieved that the Vox service disruption did not cause a single reported personal disruption..

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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2 Responses to How Do You Spell Relief?

  1. Other people will surely be relieved to know that a new Pew Poll shows
    a big drop in Muslim approval of suicide bombings. As it stands now,
    only about a third of Muslims, on average, favor the tactic.Yay! So my duties now lessened to a third of 1.6 billion people.w00t!

  2. I will be relieved when a true conservative Republican is back in the White House. When Hillary stays home to bake Bill some of her famous cookies. When Nancy Pelosi never leaves San Fransicko. When American youths give 'decency' a chance, (sung to the tune of Give Peace a Chance). I will be relieved when all Terrorists are dead and corrupt politicians are put in prison.There's nothing like dreaming on a clear day.

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