Aput & Me 1.1 Beta 1

Before I get to the moderate Muslim from Malaysia, I want to ask, am I the only one who didn't know that clowns love Muslims?

And they're magical clowns – they come out of the woodwork to defend Muslims every time anyone, anywhere reacts in horror to the latest Islamicatrocity. And like their circus counterparts, they swarm too!

And also like their big top buddies, they take absurdity to new levels.

Now there's a study being done on these clowns to see if, unlike their red-nosed counterparts, they're all Jew haters. I'll bring you the results as soon as they're known.

Anyway, Aput's at it again. Every once in a while, he says something so outrageous that I can't ignore him, though I must say, it arrived late this month. However, he made up for his tardiness by making making his latest outrageous comment super-sized.

Did you know that liberals are Muslims' friends and conservatives aren't? Yes, I know that's a ridiculous belief, but he doesn't.

So what do liberals do to earn that friendship? Near as I can tell, they are vocal about giving Saudi women the right to drive. Liberals haven't actually done anything about it, but that apparently doesn't matter, it's the whine that counts, probably because it reminds him of the Mazda rotary engine that used to lull him to sleep as a small child.

I must confess, I didn't even know that female driving was the central issue in Reformed Islam. I thought it might be freedom to go to school, freedom from beheading, freedom from street beatings, freedom from stonings* for being raped, and not being the honored guest at honor killings?

So I mentioned to A-man that George Bush has freed more Muslim women from this "lesser stuff" than anybody else in modern history, but he's not having any of that. No, it's Saudi women who matter most and getting them mobile that's THE main issue.

As for what George Bush has done, it's apparently irrelevant not just to evil Muslims, but good ones as well. I say that because Aput didn't exactly dismiss the accomplishments of Mr. Bush, as much as he didn't seem to detect them at all.

When I alluded to the seeming fact that freedom to go to school trumps freedom to drive, Aput seemed to respond, "Yeah but those are Afghan women, I'm talking Saudi gals! What's Bush done for them lately?!?"

The answer to that is complex, and I figured if he couldn't grasp the simpler stuff, I better not try to get into the more complex stuff like, for example, that any Muslim woman who's freer anywhere will eventually affect all Muslim women. I don't think he'd see that no matter how hard I tried to get through to him, I guess because Afghan women can't afford automobiles?

But now I must say again that no matter how completely detached from reality Mr. A may be, he still puts the liberals he so cherishes to shame in the reasoning department. That's because he'll read this and actually consider some small parts of it, and even if he doesn't agree, he won't continue to mindlessly repeat the loony things he says that precipitate responses like this.

One day, he may realize that these same liberals with whom he thinks he shares a kinship would be the first to deny him those little luxuries like feet washing when they start to intrude on liberal sensibilities. Right now, Muslims appear to be a liberal cause celebre, but you have no idea how fast they can turn, A-man. Just ask Git-along-home Cindy Sheehan.

I haven't even remotely covered all I'd like to say to Malay A, but he can show me he's listening if he does just one thing:

Aput asked if it was fair to say that Republicans shoot first and talk later, so I'd like to know if he's aware of the children's book titled Clinton and the Aspirin Factory? And if so, would he kindly detail all the opportunities George Bush gave to both the Taliban and Sadie Hussein before he invaded their countries?


I must say that I wrote the above before I read A-Man's comment elsewhere that if Gore had been President, there would be less dead Muslims and the WTC would still be standing, which would have rendered a lesser man than I apoplectic.

What stopped me was the realization that the ignorance is so vast as to leave no doubt that it couldn't be willful.on his part. You know, I read a lot of things that are relevant to Aput and his Muslimation, but I don't forward them because I always believed he was aware of news and developments in the Muslim Milieu far sooner than I am. These recent development will have me rethinking that.

A-man, perhaps you missed it, but if Muslims had their way, the WTC would have been long gone before either Bush or Gore could have become President?

Also, when you talk about the less dead Muslims, I presume you mean there would be fewer dead Muslims, not the same amount but on life support? If so, that's mere speculation, though I would concede that Gore would be less likely to be the one responsible for killing them. However, it's also possible to speculate that if Gore were President, there would be more dead Americans, that Hussein would still be killing his people in numbers we -can't- count, and that Mr. Taliban would still be tallying bananas**.

* Sadly, word needed to be added to my spell check program

** Beheadings***

*** Sadly, word needed to be added to my spell check program

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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13 Responses to Aput & Me 1.1 Beta 1

  1. Antoine says:

    I don't know about Aput's WTC claim. Actually, it's ridiculous to think of. Many liberals go with a similar view that 9/11 was a punishment to the damn bloody Conservatives, but that's so wrong.Do terrorists care who's in the White House? Heck no. The ONLY good thing that could result from a Rep -> Dem switch is the fact that "Bush's gang" will be out, and PERHAPS there could be a chance for some diplomacy with these forces of evil, if the Dems are smart about it.So the answer to this suggestion is that, Aput, 9/11 would have taken place, and subsequently an invasion of Afghanistan, even if Elvis Presley was president.

  2. TedWest says:

    "PERHAPS there could be a chance for some diplomacy with these forces of evil"
    The failure of "Bush's gang" does not involve diplomacy. That's simply a mindless charge by his detractors. We're negotiating right now, and Bush seems far better at it than his predecessor.
    The real failure is that he hasn't been willing to use the amount of force we expected he'd exercise.

  3. I don't know… this post is becoming nothing more than just a rant about somebody else, and it's not constructive at all. With enough facts and statistics I'm sure Aput could rebut you with what the entire moderate Muslim world thinks – it's really the fault of Western media to focus almost solely on the radical extremists.

  4. TedWest says:

    First of all, please don't worry your peaceful little head, he's used to it by now.
    Second, I can't believe you said something almost completely neutral.
    Third, Aput's had plenty of time and opportunity to refute anything he'd like, and look what he does. I mean, you think I forced him to focus on Saudi traffic laws?
    Fourth, if you see it here, believe me, it has a purpose. You must be thinking about everyone else's site?!?
    Fifth, being constructive is not now, nor will it ever, if I have anything to say about it, be my main interest. For example, I have every expectation that Aput will see this thread the same way you do.

  5. Actually I had a good laugh on this one, especially after the SF blackout screwed Vox up for a while.Thanks.

  6. TedWest says:

    I bet we were both doing the same thing, at the same time – cursing Bush for the Voxout, am I right?

  7. Scio, Scio says:

    There was a black out? I was away from the comp all day
    yesterday, but I still had more posts than I think I've ever seen in
    such a short period on my Vox.

  8. TedWest says:

    Well, two things about that:
    Vox is so slow ordinarily that the only way I knew there was a blackout was because it was such a pleasant surprise to see how quickly their blackout notice appeared.
    The other thing is that about a quarter of those posts on your blog are mine because I decided it's better to fight them over there than on my own soil.

  9. Think I was rather busy explaining that it wasn't another terrorist attack…=)

  10. TedWest says:

    Yes, we understand why you'd have early knowledge of that, but I was actually disappointed to learn it wasn't. I mean it being San Francisco and all….

  11. Haha!Most of us still left our hearts there. Therefore, it's off the target list.

  12. If you go back to San Fransicko, you will leave more than your heart there. If you have any body parts that are still virgin, they won't be when you leave. It has become one of the most decadent cities in America. The once beautiful city has become a garbage dump. They would like to call it, Progressive. Oh, isn't that how Hillary described herself? Progressive?

  13. Any suggestions on a good city to move to in the US, then?

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