Here’s What I Meant By: Everywhere There’s Muslims, There’s Trouble

As some of you probably already know, I don't like liberals much. In fact, that's actually an understatement – I like them way less than Islamofascists.

But now does that mean that I would kill every last liberal in a most horrible manner if given the time and the opportunity and immunity from prosecution? Probably not. I have a short attention span.

However, It did pique my interest when Snowblower mentioned the death penalty recently, because not only has it now been proven to be a detriment to murder, but I am on record as saying that if the various states would only just advertise for executioners, I'd pay THEM for the opportunity! You know how people say there's one thing they really want to do before they die? Well:

"Hi, I'm Ted, I'll be your executioner tonight… can I get you a cocktail"

Anyway, we've only just begun, and I'm already off topic.

So I got this private message from someone who, as always, shall remain nameless, and Aput felt I was "rather harsh" in my response to Soggy's tripe. "Rather harsh," "rather pointless," let's call the whole thing off…

They wish.

My first concern is that if I was "rather harsh," then I am failing utterly. My aim is not to make things -"rather unpleasant" for liberals, it's to let them know that there's "wretched refuse," "whale shit," and then them.

They have virtually nothing of value to offer.

And that brings me to how people seem to perceive blogs. Correct me if I'm wrong, but most of you view this as an opportunity to exchange ideas?

That is SO not how I see it.

Because generally speaking, I not only have all the ideas I need, and I know what works, what will work, and what I'm willing to tolerate if it differs from that I know works and will work. So, for example, although I do not believe in God, I see the value of religion. It offers comfort and discipline. Does it infringe on things I would rather see left alone? Yes. So does atheism.

So this blog is not a place for the free exchange of ideas – unless they're mine… If people, especially liberals want to express themselves and get feedback from a bunch of others, that's what forums are for.

And that's why I abandoned that format – people have the craziest ideas.

Although I should probably offer this disclaimer now: The ideas expressed by this writer do not necessarily reflect his opinions or the opinions of the blog bearing his name.

What this blog primarily is… and amazingly, Henrietta got it, it's a place where I can play off the various comments and personalities I encounter. I figure that there are plenty of commentary writers out there who do that sort of things better and with much more seriousness and discipline than I am willing to devote to it, and so, when I read things people post on Vox, I'm much more interested in finding the odd line or idea that strikes me as worth exploiting… er… commenting on.

It's also why I name names – it's important to connect the person with the stupidity… or the brilliance, as the case may be, even if the latter is fantastically harder to come by. Then again, 99% of people graduated in the bottom 90% of their class, so….

Aput's bigger point was that I shouldn't have posted my reply to Soggy as a separate entry and that I shouldn't have assigned it to a group, apparently because it exploits someone who was probably in special-ed.

To that I say, I felt it would have been impolite of me to ask.

And one last thing, I'm not sure if it's a Muslim thing or an Aput thing, but I told him not to address me again until he had his head on straight. So what happens next? He questions my judgment? Does that seem like a straightened out Malaysian to you?

Not to mention that he's defending someone who ostensibly wants to take his religion away from him… unless he knows something we don't… ?!? Like there's a Muslim or two in the Soggy family tree, maybe?

Plus, I'm pretty sure SOG's gay…. and I KNOW Snowy is!

My concern now is that Aput won't get his head straight before I get mine really bent…

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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26 Responses to Here’s What I Meant By: Everywhere There’s Muslims, There’s Trouble

  1. Baria says:

    Sir,you are a knobhead.

  2. TedWest says:

    OK, we all want to know who could, without any prior knowledge of me, file such a pity observation. Well, I've done the dirty work, so you wouldn't have to and here's the profile – followed by my clarification – you know, because he's British…
    "I run a small and wildly unsuccessful but commited (sic) record label."
    He lives with his parents and spends all his money on cheap recording equipment which he keeps in his bedroom studio
    "We have offices in the US – UK and Australia and none of them make a cent."
    Mom and dad are furious that their life savings, if taken in pennies, can now fit on one CD.
    "I plough all the money in from my part time job as a foreign policy adviser to Colonel Gaddaffi and as marketing advisor to the Ghengis Khan Superstore of Mongolia."
    Translation: "This is my idea of clever, funny stuff. In fact, it's all of Britain's idea of clever, funny stuff."
    "I do this because I hate the corporate mindset and double speak that passe (sic) for entertainment these days."
    Translation: "I've really been inspired by The Office."
    "It is my moderate revenge on the world of bald be-suited men and goths in black eyeliner who once were cool."
    Translation: "I don't know what I'm saying, but I desperately needed filler."
    "I remain a man of mystery"
    To paraphrase Joey Tribiani, "you can't say you're a man of mystery, that negates the mystery."
    "hiding in darkness – like Charlie with his Angels"
    Oy!.
    "and only the rare few have ever seen my face."
    He's obviously one of them, which explains why he stays in the dark..
    "I would show you but if I did I would have to kill you and thats not nice"
    Brilliantly original. His music is clearly way ahead of it's beat….

  3. Snowy says:

    Plus, I'm pretty sure SOG's gay…. and I KNOW Snowy is!Well, that's torn it. Now our little secret's out there for the world to see, Teddles. <kiss, kiss>

  4. Baria says:

    oh how clever of you. I quake in my boots and fear for my safety.No wait!should I waste any more time on you? 12 time loser with nothing better to do than call all muslims trouble? The man (I use the term losely) who steals our language and claims it for his own and then ….oh fuck off.You deserved a slap for being such an ignorant cunt and its time someone told you so. Where do you get off launching yourself on the world as some kind of big know all when the best insult you can come up with is that I live with my my mum? Dickwad!A little more research would lead you to the word IRONY. Thereafter is Sarcasm but that is a complex concept which is clearly way beyond the intelect of a neanderthal such as you.AMERICANS CAUSE MUCH MORE TROUBLE than any one else. How in Gods name you dare to lecture anyone about anything like this is a modern miracle.How many Iraqi's, Afghans, did you kill today? How many bombed you?No. YOU ARE THE CAUSE – YOU are also the solution.end of

  5. TedWest says:

    "oh (sic) how clever of you. I quake in my boots and fear for my safety."
    "should I waste any more time on you?"
    I guess the answer follows… ?!? "12 time loser with nothing better to do than call all muslims trouble?"
    See, this is a good example of what I always tell my wife – the British may appear normal, but they're not.
    "The man (I use the term losely (sic)) who steals our language and claims it for his own"
    Steal it? Uh, you surrendered it at Yorktown. Besides, you don't seem to be too concerned about its proper usage!?!.
    "and then ….oh fuck off."
    My we're awfully touchy. I mean, who invaded whose space here?"You deserved a slap for being such an ignorant cunt and its time someone told you so."
    Yes, told me – because you certainly wouldn't be able to actually do it. I mean I saw the hostage tapes from Iran too, you know. Does the term "lily-livered" ring a bell?.
    "Where do you get off launching yourself on the world as some kind of big know all"
    Well, somebody has to, and you certainly don't know anything if the following non-sequitur is any indication…:
    "when the best insult you can come up with is that I live with my my mum?"
    I said parents. Sorry… you have my condolences.
    "Dickwad!"
    You're right, that's a far better insult."A little more research would lead you to the word IRONY."
    I'm guessing you didn't quite make it through middle school? But I confess that I don't know what you're implying – that you want to compare net worth… or recording equipment?
    "Thereafter is Sarcasm (sic) (sic) but that is a complex concept which is clearly way beyond the intelect (sic) of a neanderthal (sic)such as you.
    I see."AMERICANS CAUSE MUCH MORE TROUBLE than any one (sic) else."
    Clearly – at least as far as you're concerned.
    " How in Gods (sic) name you dare to lecture anyone about anything like this is a modern miracle"
    Well, you give me far too much credit, but would you at least entertain a one-liner about spelling?."How many Iraqi's (sic), Afghans, did you kill today?"
    Wasn't that Microsoft's old slogan?
    "How many bombed you?"
    None as far as I know, but I"m not at home right now."No. YOU ARE THE CAUSE – YOU are also the solution."
    Something tells me you've had a little too much "solution" tonight, if you get my drift?"end of"
    He must have passed out. I'm sure he'll finish later…

  6. Snowy says:

    That was beautiful, Baria. Just simply…..beautiful…

  7. Baria says:

    I have not passed out. I am just bored with listening to you trying to be clever and avoiding engaging in the real reason I am angry. Crass statements like your are the reason the world is in such trouble.Thinking – as you claim to be so clever – seems a bit to difficult for you.Try this simple thought process: cause and effect are linked.You made a daft statement. You made me angry. I responded. And so the cycle goes on. So symptomatic of US foreign policy.So when you start to rage about Muslims and therefore by proxy Al Quaida and all the "terror" in your midst ask yourself who has raped and pillaged across the globe for the past 50 years? Who has been invaded, violated and decimated?Kurdistan?, Palestine? El Salvador? Panama? Grenada? Angola? Cuba? Iran? Iraq? Afghanistan? Columbia? Chile? or the USA?And you blame "muslims?" Look in a mirror smart boy.Incidentally when you insult someone make it relevant. I like people. I like America and much of what it has to offer.Except you and your ilk making enemies where you could have made friends. That is why you are a knobhead. Your ego is too big.Now go ahead and reply to each line of this and any typo's and correct my spelling mistakes instead of dealing with the issue itself. Its much easier and I am sure it makes you feel better that way.

  8. TedWest says:

    To any non-idiots still following along, I'm sure you see now why I refuse to address the "issues" of those on the other side of the divide.
    And of course, people (I use the term losely) in the lands of the superfluous vowels are members of a very special branch – inbred idiots.
    Now, Bobo, how convenient of you to stop at fifty years as opposed to, oh, say, 66ish? But at least your latest rant was calm and measured and utterly devoid of hyperbole, so my ilk is thankful for that. But now…
    "Crass statements like your (sic) are the reason the world is in such trouble."
    Yep, you nailed it! My statements, Rushdie's books, Mohammed cartoons… it's the very duty of primitives to lash out.
    Oh and you so closely identifying with them, I figured you wouldn't understand "Yorktown," and no, it's not the theater where your mother took you to lose your virginity.
    But at least we let you keep your little red uniforms, eh?
    Although I must say, I can empathize with your upset about our pillaging, I mean it's like waking up one day and oh-oh, where's the empire?
    And Snowy, thank you for the opportunity to clarify the ground rules here:
    You have to contribute something.
    While I'm sure it's the best you can muster, posts like your last are the sort that are just made for private messages. Think of it this way, it would make Bobo feel special.
    Otherwise, you're certainly welcome to continue your crap on a wall approach, but if it doesn't stick, it will just disappear, and since your lot seems to be the excitable type, I would hate that to come as a surprise.
    Oh and one last thing, Bobo, I have a great little spell checker which I'd be happy to offer you as a conciliatory gesture. however, it uses proper English, not the limey patois, but it would definitely improve your image with those Americans you like? Let me know, 'kay?

  9. Rushdie's book.Muslims can't stand only one of them. The rest are fine.

  10. TedWest says:

    Thank you for correcting me, and if you have some spare time, do you think you might offer our British friend some English lessons? I would do it myself, but we seem to have a personality conflict.

  11. TedWest says:

    And did I suddenly develop retinitis pigmentosa or is your head shrinking?

  12. Snowy says:

    Oh dear, TedWest. Your blog is just one long diatribe illustrating the basest prejudice of people who are so bereft of reason that they must resort to jingoism, racist taunts, and personal insults. I must confess that I still have no idea what makes you tick. An infatuation with John Wayne movies, perhaps? Whatever, you just come across as an ignorant buffoon. Unfortunately, this just reinforces the stereotype of your country as a bully so effectively portrayed around the world by your idiot President. I've had enough interaction with Americans to know that they resent this image of their country just as much as the rest of the world does, and that your infantile views are not representative of all Americans. Far from it, judging by the lack of support for your bluster that you receive on your blog.So, reach for your spell checker. It seems to be the only weapon that you can fall back on to impress us with your superior wisdom. If you only knew…

  13. dox^2 says:

    …judging by the lack of support for your bluster that you receive on your blog.This is just a function of the demographics of those who blog on Vox? No?

  14. Snowy says:

    You're not really telling me that most Americans agree with him, are you?

  15. dox^2 says:

    I have no idea how many Americans agree with TedWest. I am sure if he posted his articles in such a manner that the masses could read his opinions, we would surely know.If you read TedWest's stuff, you will know that you and him have something in common… you both don't like Bush. So do most Americans agree with TedWest from that stand point? Yes.I am merely arguing that a majority of Vox bloggers who post on politics have the same opinions as you (liberal point of view and hate Bush). And since Vox only allows those to comment who have an account with them, saying he has a lack of support on his blog really isn't saying much.

  16. TedWest says:

    Dox,
    I think that in all of the Internet liberals are disproportionately represented, and that's augmented by their shrillness and redundancies as Bobo and Snowy have amply demonstrated.
    But in fact, snowed one, your last post is a rather marked improvement, and though it's still chock full of unsupported generalizations for which you are utterly incapable of offering hard evidence, I believe, I need only point out that other than Britain which may be hopelessly in denial, all of our major allies have conservatives at the helm.
    And as for those things you accuse me of, I'm well aware that political correctness precludes your dealing with unvarnished truths, you know, like the one Mr. Howard is currently confronting with your own blacks.
    And unfortunately, you are going to have to cope with my "prejudices," as best you can, because I'm only concerned with what's right and just and economically feasible for America as a whole and what keeps us secure regardless of your opinion…
    Which even here has been accorded infinitely more significance than it deserves.
    But I'm nothing if not fair, and so I will invite you to do the same thing I ask every other abject idiot liberal to do. That is, pick one issue, and make any charge you like as long as you can document it with specific evidence of the sort that would be admissible in a court of law or which would hold up to logical scrutiny.
    And if you can do that, not only will I address you civilly and attempt as best I can to answer the charge, but you will have the distinction of being the very first liberal who is able to do so, and in that case, imagine the admiration I will have for you.
    I will even offer a bit of assistance. Take the charge, "Bush lied." No one has ever been able to prove even one instance. Now I'm not asking you to pick that issue, and in fact, I request that you not, but that's for your own sake. However, my point in bringing it up is that the mere offer of an alleged example does not prove your case. You need actual proof.
    Lastly, I want to mention the study (as if it was necessary) which demonstrated that stupid people actually think they are smarter than smart people, and you and Bobo could easily have been study subjects. I say that not to insult you, but only to point out that I am enormously smarter than you, only you don't know that.
    And I'm not willing to continue to entertain more of the same from you, so you have only the choice of going down the perilous path I've outlined, or staying the hell out of here, as I've gotten as much mileage from you as I feel I can in your present state.
    And be advised that should you take me up on my offer, I will not accept participation from anyone else in your herd. In other words, it's just you and me, and I wish you all the best.
    Now, consider in silence, and may your next post devastate me…

  17. dox^2 says:

    Is this completely directed at me?

  18. TedWest says:

    My apologies, only the first paragraph was to you.

  19. Scio, Scio says:

    But in fact, snowed one, your
    nope! Ted changed tack about a paragraph in, and headed into the wind.

    There is something like a gang war going on in Vox…conservatives
    versus everyone. I'm enjoying it. We're all making our
    respective bones these days.

    As to liberals being overrepresented on Vox:
    I think this may have something to do with trends toward education and
    liberalism. In general, the higher one's degree the more likely
    they are to hold liberal views. I would speculate that the more
    one is educated the more income they will likely have and the more
    likely they are to have access to the Internet. Perhaps they had
    it for free in school and liked the feeling. Perhaps once they
    arrive on the Internet they gravitate towards like-minded people to
    complain about the state of the country. I don't know.

    As for the sorry state of Britain:
    What happened to the people who whipped Napoleon and stood against
    Hitler? Where are the people who gave us Churchill, Wellesley,
    More?
    Too busy thinking of ways to insert the F-word into conversation, I think.

  20. Snowy says:

    You delete my last comment, and then waffle on about how fair you are, TedWest? No thanks. I'm tired of your arrogance, your disrespect, and your inability to converse in anything but a sneering manner. There is a civilised world out there where people can discuss their differences, while maintaining respect for those with whom they disagree. You will never be capable of that. So, I'll leave you to your cesspit of ignorance and bigotry. You're very welcome to it.

  21. TedWest says:

    As you well know, I deleted your comments because they were utterly devoid of substance, and you declined my offer because you also are devoid of substance.
    Buh-bye.

  22. No, Ted. Head's the same size, just that we've not yet met another conflict of ideas that lead to another "get off my blog, I've deleted you from my neighborhood" point.

  23. TedWest says:

    Maybe not, but we're probably closer than you may think, since you haven't stopping whining about it around town – or about "poor misunderstood Iran" for that matter.
    So now if I understand you, Saudi Arabia is behind everything and secretly both encouraging and funding Iran?
    Can you send me the evidence if I promise not to post it or give it to Homeland Security?

  24. DallasDude says:

    Internet liberals remind me of the so called conservatives, who considered themselves conservatives, until the Dot Com crash of 2000. Losing the extra income from investment mania and having to step down their lifestyle. These self serving conservatives sued, imagine their distain in having to be in the same room with the trial lawyers, their employeers for overtime. These became big class action suits and they prevailed in court. These large corporation had to millions. Sounds like a union award/grievance. The COMP TIME as labeled, was said to be family friendly bill, but it was no more than these large corporate lobbies making sure that this wouldn't happen again. To the fair weather conservative, your not in the click unless your at the CEO level or above. Your just a number and an employee at will, look that up on googles, just an azzwipe.

  25. TedWest says:

    "your not in the click"
    Edited to its essence, I think that says it all?!?

  26. Whining is not exactly the right word. More like introducing you to everyone else, in a very discrete way,haha…as for the theory of Saudi Arabia and Iran, I would think Homeland Security would know of it if it were true, although, if I do manage to prove the theory credible, I would definitely love to hear your side of it.

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