Big Trouble In Little Malaysia

It's amazing what that can develop when you innocently turn to reading what other people in your neighborhood are saying.

I know I don't participate much so when I had the opportunity the other day, I thought I'd look for some interesting comments to respond to, and the very first one I encountered was that of my Muslim friend asking, "Why is there air?"

I'm sorry, that was Bill Cosby. I get the two confused.

Anyway, Aput was wondering why the entire civilized world is preoccupied with Iran, the keyword there, apparently, being "civilized."

At first, I thought he was kidding. I mean, what semi-sane, minimally informed individual doesn't know why? But as I read, it was clear that the lad had a blind spot the size of Montana. So I basically posted a throwaway designed to immediately shock him back to reality. Instead, something strange happened – something I'm not used to – it didn't work.

For all I know, he's still wondering why all the fuss with a country whose leaders have a death wish and want to blow up basically anyone who doesn't subscribe to Sharia Law, even if the subscription price is higher than most people can afford.

Of course, the mad mullahs and their little puppet haven't actually done anything yet, but that could have something to do with the fact that if they tried in their present state, they'd be the object of the question, "Daddy, show me where Iran used to be…?"

However, even that wouldn't bother these animals if it meant they could at least take Israel and America with them. And call us impetuous, but if people say they are going to destroy you, maybe we should take them at least slightly seriously.

Another point that hasn't been spoken yet, but which has been alluded to by the last idiot I had the pleasure of vomiting at was the idea that America is the aggressor in, well, everything. Of course, that ignores the fact that only we are willing and able to even attempt to right injustice. Yes, we've made a mess of it at times, but that doesn't stop the world from demanding that we do more – just that we should only do what other, less civilized, less developed, less able countries want us to.

Aput even went so far as to say we didn't listen to the U.N.

Can you imagine? An organization that is hopelessly corrupt, hates America, and has utterly failed in its mission? We didn't follow its directions?

Thank God.

And when was the last time Malaysia mobilized in an effort to restore peace and freedom to an area? It doesn't have to be a big country like Iraq, how about Malaysia just brings order to Darfur?

That Iraq is in chaos today is not our fault. OK, it somewhat is, but that's because of bungling and an unwillingness to wage war as it needs to be waged. Lord knows, we thought Bush was just the guy for the job, but he wasn't. Yet even now, he's trying, even if I would say, "Very trying."

And to answer a question that may not be on your mind, yes, I knew exactly what I was saying when I said that wherever there are Muslims, there's trouble. I knew there's probably some obscure place where that fusion didn't exist yet. I just couldn't think of it, and in that case, what could it matter?

What I wasn't prepared for was Aput's apparent definition of "trouble-free," that being: anyplace where there's not a Beheading of the Day!

And while he did allow as how he was wrong about Britain being certified trouble-free by whatever Muslim authority does such things, one has to wonder what thinking processes or lack thereof led him to make that claim in the first place?

So we settled on Singapore as the idyllic Muslim encampment, but if you're rational, and we're now firmly convinced that Aput is not, you know that even in gum-free Singapore, there's trouble.

And here's what it is: If in the rest of the world, Muslims rise up en-masse, Musgaporeans will almost certainly join them.

What am I saying, "Almost?" And from what I've seen, so will Aput. Will he be militant? unlikely, but we know from his account of the Joy case, that he stands ready with excuses and work-arounds. That he condemns in the abstract, but quickly acquiesces to in reality and readily accepts official (and convenient) explanations.

No right-minded person can grasp, much less accept, that an individual must legally petition to leave a religion.

And I hate to judge before I get the final report, but it appears he's willing to fudge and fantasize in order to cement his beliefs. In other words, if Aput represents the best of Muslim thinking, and I haven't seen better, we should all be more afraid than ever.

Now some ancillary notes:

If you caught Shady Guy's act, did you see where he said he studied a bunch of religions so he could make an enlightened choice and he finally settled on the Miller-Lite selection – atheism – tastes great, less filling… even better, there's nothing at all!

But ya gotta love a guy who, when in doubt, takes the least enlightened course.

And don't you also love people who feel the need to list their credentials in the faint hope of bolstering their credibility? It's like, "I can't mount even a semblance of a logical argument, but take my word for it because I have all these degrees."

And in fact, all it shows is that he can study and study and study some more – and he never learns anything.

And lastly, I removed Aput from my neighborhood, hopefully temporarily, and not because I dislike him. It's just that, as I keep saying, I don't want to be assaulted with extreme stupidity on those rare occasions when I venture out, especially when I can create that right here, bigger and better, with virtually no effort.

However, if I were his advisor, I would tell him not reciprocate in a fit of pique, since as amazing as it seems, I may be his only hope of attaining true enlightenment…

Which is nice.

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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5 Responses to Big Trouble In Little Malaysia

  1. HV says:

    Interesting post,the guy is young, if he manages to move to a more westernised country, there could be hope?????

  2. No semblance of logical argument eh?

    Nice coming from someone who's entire repetoire is comprised of unfounded Muslim bashing.

    I live in a country where racism is rampant, it may not be visible but
    it is definately simmering just below the surface. Comments such as
    yours, which was effectively "Everywhere that there are Muslims there
    is war and corruption" only serve to fan the rather pointless flames.I agree that the religion should be scrapped, as should all religions (except Bhuddism, as no real worship occurs), but don't just target Muslims. Go for everyone, the whole hog as you Americans say. I chose Aethiesm because I realised that all religions contain much falsity and hypocracy. I also realised that they were the major cause of war since their inception. I have no degrees. Just a small point to think about. Guess what age person you are insulting?True enlightenment, from a Republican? Someone who believes in the War in Iraq, tougher border protection, the death penalty and the protection of "Christian" values. HAHAHAH.But anyway,Have a good day,~ShadesP.S. You would make an excellent forum troll. Join WoW. Just not Jubei…

  3. HV says:

    Ted,
    What/Who is Shady babbling about?

    On a side note: How's the tree issue turning out?

  4. TedWest says:

    Thank you for your interest. I'll be addressing the former shortly, and I'll have an update on the tree situation as time allows.
    Here's a preview of my comments about Soggy:
    Do you suppose that Australia being both a country and a continent imposes too much of a burden on the average Aussie? Does the Great Barrier Reef also keep out rational thought? Is the outback where the average resident keeps his brain?

  5. Scio, Scio says:

    While I understood your comments regarding WoW, I have to disagree with you on everything else you said.
    Most especially, your dismissal of this piece of historical fact:
    Everywhere that there are Muslims there
    is war and corruption

    The sad reality is that Islam has bloody borders and has had them ever
    since Muhammed left Mecca. Right up until today, Islam has been a
    religion of peace insofar as when everyone in the area is a Muslim (of
    one type, mind you) nobody kills each other. In theory. But
    Islam is in conflict from the Philippines to Africa to Europe and on
    back to Asia.

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