That Don’t Mean Jack!

This just in: On the slow side of the pond, "Mohammed" is poised to supplant "Jack" as the top name in England this year.

Can you imagine the number of births it takes to make a name Numero Uno (apologies, but I don't know how to say that in Muslim)? Unless, of course, every Muslim in Britain is conspiring to get "Mohammed" to the top spot, not unlike how that group tries to get its favorite awful singer crowned the American Idol by slamming the vote lines.

Yep, that's one Mess-O-Muslims, and with all due respect to moderate Muslims everywhere, both of them, it kinda makes a Mess-o-Mexicans seem downright attractive by comparison.

Now you may not think this means that much, but there's going to be some fundamental changes in Merry Olde. Like…

Little Mohammed Horner sat in a corner eating his… er… Christmas pie?

Instead of That's a fact, Jack, it's… Mohammed?

The unidentified morgue stiff labeled Mohammed Doe?

A truck Mohammed-knifed?

What will a Mohammed-o-lantern look like, a suicide belt?

How about Mohammed in the Box?

"I ain't got Mohammed squat?"

And I'm sure that's just the tip of the iceber.. I mean… pyramid… but it even has implications for America – it proves conclusively that the Three Stooges were way ahead of their time!


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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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3 Responses to That Don’t Mean Jack!

  1. Tip of the minaret would have been more appropriate. Mosques have minarets.The thing with Muslim names is that most of them have two first names.Take mine for example:Ahmad Hafidz Bin Baharom Alam ShahAs such, my first name would be Ahmad Hafidz, but I personally refer myself as Hafidz. Baharom would be my dad's name, thus my last name.AS for Muhammad, same thing with the "Ahmad" in my name.

  2. TedWest says:

    "Tip of the minaret would have been more appropriate."
    OK, see, comedy usually requires that you use images people can grasp, and so far, only Dennis Miller has met with limited success by ignoring that principle.
    Unless you didn't realize I was trying to be amusing? In that case, a minaret still wouldn't solve the problem.
    Perhaps I should have gone with foot trough?
    "Ahmad Hafidz Bin Baharom Alam Shah"
    Just hang on a minaret, Shah? My sweet Lord, you should move to Iran?!?

  3. Okay…Shah would be my dad's name….And we do have relatives in Iran. Very distant….very, very, very, distant…lol!But moving there is definitely off my lists of things to do, especially since they're now rationing out petrol.

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