No Joy In Mudville, Mighty Lina Has Struck Out

Score it Muslims-1, Christians-0 in the best of one, winner-take-all series in Malaysia. At stake was the right to the coveted title, "Ex-Muslim."

So it turns out that it's slightly more difficult to leave Islam than it is to leave the Mafia. That's the bad news, of course. The good news is that Lina Joy won't have to stand in long lines to get a new I.D. card.

She had said she's no longer a Muslim. Today, Malaysia said she is.

I know it's hard for us, the uncivilized masses to imagine, but we have on this planet a religion that's so peaceful that, for your own good, you're forbidden to leave it – because if you do, you'd be disturbing the peace says Malaysia's Supreme Court.

"About 200 mostly young Muslims welcomed the ruling outside the domed courthouse with shouts of "Allah-o-Akbar" (God is great), but Christians and non-Muslim politicians were dismayed."

The better news is, the ruling was not unanimous.The three judge panel split 2-1. One judge said that the agency that issues identity cards should have complied with Joy's request to have the Muslim designation removed – he's the token non-Muslim judge.

Well there's at least some consolation if you read my account from yesterday: Lina may be a Muslim against her will, but at least she's still got her Johnson.

They can't get married though, not as long a she's a designated Muslim and he's Christian, so at least we won't have any Romeo and Juliet action goin' on – which is nice.

By the way, the article characterizes Malaysia and  Indonesia as practicing "a moderate brand of Islam." I guess that's because in most Muslim countries, well before the case ever got to the Supreme Court, the only thing left of Ms. Joy would have been her I.D. card.

Oh and would this account be complete without a quote from your new favorite Muslim Youth Movement President?

"We hope that we have seen the last of such attempts. We invite anyone who feels that they are aggrieved or victimized within the current system to choose other, less confrontational and controversial attempts towards change and reform, said Yusri Mohamad, as crowds cheered "Allah-o-Akbar" – translation, "Land-o-Lakes!".

And presumably, the less confrontational attempts towards change and reform that Mohamad was referring to is to, well, not…?

You know, it's for their own good.

Besides, he's only looking out for Malaysia's minorities…

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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5 Responses to No Joy In Mudville, Mighty Lina Has Struck Out

  1. Thanks a lot, Ted. Now, when I see a Muslim, I am going to be saying Land-o-Lakes to you too. You are going to get me into trouble. If you get a phone call late at night and someone is shouting Land-o-Lakes, you'll know to send Batman and Robin to rescue me.

  2. TedWest says:

    Hey, my Muslim isn't that good, it's either that or Cream-o-Wheat…

  3. Is there any such thing a double-doomed?

  4. Chad says:

    Dang, Ted, I must be getting slower in my middle age…After reading that article you linked to I have "rediscovered for the first time" that the world has, indeed, gone mad….okay, well..er, uh..maybe just Malaysia. But I know they're running neck and neck with the EU and we're not far behind in this country. More pig anyone?

  5. think I've explained the situation.

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