Wrestling With Warming – More Questions For Gorebalarmists

Let's get right to specifics. If governments don't "plant the seeds of change" for carbon emissions by 2012, people in 2050 "will have to live with the compromises and hardships caused by their inability to act," says the WWF.

Now I know your first question is the same one I asked: what does the World Wrestling Federation know about global warming other than that its members generate more than their share of hot air?

But no, this is the World Wildlife Fund we're talking about and an entirely different question to wit: what does the World Wildlife Fund know about global warming other than that its members generate more than their share of hot air?

But I'd still like to ask, is that exactly five years to the day, or just any time before January 1, 2013?

Now suppose, as I fervently hope, that these governments fail to act, do you WWFers expect us to believe that one day makes such a huge difference?

Assuming that a representative of the group would find that absurd, I'd prod a bit. "OK then, how much time do we really have since we've now blown right past the five year limit? Another five years?

I'm sure (s)he would find that equally absurd, but now we've bought ourselves some time – we know we really have somewhere between five years and a day and ten years to act to counteract climate change.

How about like an incumbent President then, four more years?

Three?

Two?

One?

All right,  it's between five and six years then, is it?. We'll take what we can get.

Like five years and 364 days?

363…?

Eventually we'll pin them down to the exact day.

Then we can start working on the hour……

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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2 Responses to Wrestling With Warming – More Questions For Gorebalarmists

  1. HV says:

    Good luck with that, I'd say pinning them down to an exact decade would be a
    stretch.

  2. TedWest says:

    No matter how absurd I try to be, I can never seem to outdo reality…
    WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Temperatures and precipitation in the Midwest have an equal chance of being above or below normal in June, the National Weather Service said in its latest monthly forecast released on Thursday.
    That pattern could linger through August for the nation's key grain growing regions, U.S. weather forecasters said.
    The government forecast dovetailed with recent private forecasts which predicted that temperatures in the Northeast and Midwest, both big natural gas consuming regions, were expected to vary on either side of normal for next week.
    The next forecast of the NWS will be issued on June 21.
    ————
    Hopefully by then, they will be able to predict the previous month more accurately.

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