Teach Your Parents Well – First Curly, Now Larry – No Moe!?!

No sooner has the tumult over Don "Curly" Imus started to die down, when a new one may be building over Larry "Larry" King's comment about Alzheimer's. We can only hope.

UPI reports that a spokesman for Alzheimers patients, one Patrick "Shemp" Moffett, is looking for an apology from King for his reportedly having said that he, Larry, would retire "(if), God forbid, I had an onset of dementia or Alzheimer's. That would be it."

Which raises the immediate question: Does Mr. Moffett have Alzheimer's patients' power of attorney?

And assuming his papers are in order, there are then more questions like:

Do Alzheimer's patients know they're offended?

Does Mr. Moffett believe Mr. King should continue to work if he's got Alzheimer's? Because coincidentally, I heard Kurt Vonnegut on Imus some time back, and I can't say Vonnegut had Alzheimer's, he may have just been researching how free-associating affects an interview situation for his upcoming book: I Was On Imus And All I Got Was A Bad Memory.

Is Mr. Moffett implying, as I suspect, that Alzheimer's could only improve Mr. King's program? Then Mr. King should apologize for -not- having Alzheimer's?

Was it that Mr. Moffett is scarred for life upon learning that King doesn't have the disease because he'd long believed he did, "he" being Mr. Moffett, Mr. king, or both?

So let's concede that Mr. King said what's being reported. Where exactly is the insult?

Is it that Alzheimer's patients are people too? That they shouldn't be discriminated against for talk show jobs simply because they can't remember the questions?

Does Mr. Moffett want new laws? Will the EEOC rule that you can't be denied employment simply because you don't know you're working?

Now see, this should be a good lesson for hosts everywhere – phrase your insults properly. Neither Imus nor King would be having any difficulties today if Imus had said the Rutgers girls played like tattooed Alzheimer's patients and King had said he might retire if he were to become a nappy-headed ho.

"Moe on line two, what's your question for my wife, Coretta Scott?"

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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One Response to Teach Your Parents Well – First Curly, Now Larry – No Moe!?!

  1. You are so brilliant…glad I was not drinking my coffee while reading this, coffee burns as it passes through your nose. I think you hit on the politically way out for everyone, just preface your sarcasm with a reference to Alzheimer's.

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