I See Sparks!

There's nothing left to say (for the moment) about Don Imus, there's so much to say about global warming that I don't have enough time to get a handle on it, and while my hatred of George Bush continues to grow geometrically, writing about him is depressing, so let's turn to something of utmost importance to Americans…

This has been the best season of American Idol ever, and last night was a perfect example of why that is. Melinda (formerly Melissa) is so good that it's demeaning for her to even be a contestant. I can't stop my jaw from dropping when I see and hear her.

 Lakisha has a great voice, but is so fat that I find myself averting my eyes and just listening to her sing. She could win, but do we need another morbidly obese idol?

One of the guys is pretty good, but he's another of a long line of meterosexual male contestants, whiny voice and cosmetically tough, you know the type, I'm sure, and we know Phil (I think that's his name) is tough because he's a soldier and not British, but he's somewhat lacking in the pipes department, and Sanjaya is actually a delight, but he lacks everything except novelty.

The hot chick is amazing, being that she's the only contestant in the history of the show to actually develop an image, and the longer she stays, the greater the likelihood that she'll just come out bottomless one night. Unfortunately, and I can't tell you how much I mean that, I've heard some cats sing better.

That leaves Jordin, and oh man does she get more incredible by the week or what? !7 and not particularly good looking, there's still something sultry about her, and she's got enough charisma to lend some out to others in need. There's a joy in every song she sings, and even though she's the youngest, she manages to give you the impression that she's the reincarnation of some greats from the past.

Do I seem like I love this nappy-headed ho? That's an understatement, and not just because she's from Phoenix, either. She'd be a great face for American Idol – indeed, the best yet. And even if she's not the last one standing, how can this girl miss being a star?

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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