Sweet Surrender Adds Lots Of Pounds

Sing along with me now…

There'll be bluebirds over

The white flags of Dover

Tomorrow, when the world is…

Shelling out big bucks to see – Tea Sucking Surrender Monkeys: The Movie!


That's right, folks, it's official. The ironically named "Ministry of Defense" has lifted the ban that has prevented other Brits who have been injured and killed in the Iraq war from profiting from their experiences and given permission to the recently former capitulators, henceforth to be known as SPF-15*, to sell their stories.

But there's a very good reason for their doing it according to the Sunday Times:

"MoD officials claimed that the move to lift the ban on military personnel selling their stories while in service was justified because of the “exceptional circumstances” of the case. The hostages are expected to earn as much as £250,000 between them."

Rumors are flying that Rosie O'Donnell is being considered for the role of Faye Turney, the only female hostage, but there's concern that Ms. O'Donnell may bring too much strength to the character.

And it's been confirmed that two of the Royal Marines will be portrayed by Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.


* Surrendered Pour Francs


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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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4 Responses to Sweet Surrender Adds Lots Of Pounds

  1. ….I thought Kate Winslett got that part…=)

  2. TedWest says:

    I agree that would seem to make more sense, but you've obviously not seen Seawoman Turney.
    Hey, The Amazing Race was in Malaysia tonight, and the people were very nice, not unlike yourself.

  3. It's Hollywood, if Erin Brockovich was portrayed by Julia Roberts, anything can happen.Well, duh! I was trying to tell you that much. Just don't bring drugs! hahaha!

  4. TedWest says:

    I get your point, and I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who thought Erin was way better looking than that hideous beast!

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