"The truly great, giddiness-inducing thing about the Justice Department scandal is how it owes its existence to the gratuitous nastiness of these hate-driven punks in the White House." – Paul Slansky
Even if true, at least they're civil* hate-driven punks as compared to Mr. Slansky.
Today's Celebrity DUI Arrests
Vivica A. Fox – Los Angeles, Ca. – Circumstances: failed field sobriety test after her vehicle passed a patrol car on the Hollywood Freeway at 80 mph. No word if Mz. Fox was in it at the time.
Tony La Russa – Jupiter, Fla – Circumstances: asleep inside his running sport utility vehicle at an intersection stop light.
Coincidental Headline of the Day – Report: Intersections often deadly for older drivers
From the article: Drivers 70-79 failed to yield to other vehicles because they misjudged distance – drivers 80 and older failed to yield because they never saw the other vehicle.
What a difference a year makes!
The first Baby Jessica in the news fell down an eight-inch pipe and was pulled out. The latest Baby Jessica emerged too dark from a different sort of pipe, so the Andrews, of Commack, N.Y. are suing New York Medical Services for Reproductive Medicine for pumping up the missus with the wrong sperm.
Implications: artificial insemination can create bigger problems than it creates.
The couple’s lawyer, Howard Stern (you can't make it up), did not immediately return a telephone call for comment.
The Politically Opportunistic News of the Day:
The bad news: John Edwards' wife's cancer has returned:
The good news: He's still running for President.
The moral: some people will do anything to divert attention from their excess energy use.
You thought they're are making way too much of the prosecutor firings? Well: Jamaica Gets Help in Cricket Death Probe
Capitalism comes to lawmaking? This seems like an inventive approach to countering bad lawmaking: Ecuador Swears in 21 Alternate Lawmakers
* "Sivil" for our Miami readers