Before I get to a new feature we're introducing, I saw this in Newsdaytoday:
"Clinton, Obama skirt queries on gays in the military
BY GLENN THRUSH"
And I was wondering how our friends at Social Justice might react to that? I mean do you think Glenn Thrush (giggle) wrote that headline with a straight face? And is it funny or disparaging? Promosexual?
Interestingly, I consulted two dictionaries in an attempt to find some gay gay synonyms – and they didn't offer any.
Today we present the first in what will be the biggest, funniest running bit in online history. First you'll get a recent quote (definition for our Miami contingent: 1930s forward) which will be followed immediately or sooner by an "unquote" that clarifies, enhances, and/or rectifies something, which may or may not be the original quote or any part thereof. And as a bonus, I'll leave it to you to speculate who said the unquote, thus adding enormously to your enjoyment. So without further ado, I bid you adieu.
Quote: “Substance is what makes Edwards stand out from the pack." – Edwards supporter
Unquote: "Exactly, as in, they have it and he doesn't – and that substance itself is unidentified."
Quote: ""We live in a country where more people care about the death of Anna Nicole Smith than the death of a planet" - Judy Muller
Unquote: "OK, but in their defense, the planet hasn't died yet. When it does, I bet they care more, and the bigger question is, who will do the autopsy, and what will it reveal?"
Quote: (on the proposed Autobahn speed limit) "We’d simply be wrecking the climate at 130km/h (80mph) instead.”- Sigmar Gabriel, the German Environment Minister
Unquote: "Now hold on one second, you 'would be speaking German were it not for us' Kraut, you think wrecking the climate at half the current speed is nothing? And I'd like to apologize for not knowing the metric equivalent of a second."
Quote: “Herr Dimas is disregarding all the facts. Imposing a limit of 100km/h on German motorways would reduce CO2 0.6 per cent.” – Wolfgang Tiefensee, a spokesman for the Transport Minister
Unquote: "HEY, herringhead, a half a percent REDUCTION is HUGE, Wolfpack. I mean Al Gore is merely -offsetting- his emissions, and Hollywood thinks that's the greatest thing since sliced… well…
Now hearkening back to our opening topic:
Quote: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell is not working. I have been against it for many years because I think it does a grave injustice to patriotic Americans who want to serve their country." – Hillary Rodman Clinton.
Unquote: "You bet your pretty little head it does me a grave injustice, I wanna be able to ask if the Nancy-boy next to me is a little light in the combat boots. Oh, and make that 'very little,' willya?"
Quote: "let the uniform code of military justice determine if conduct is inappropriate or unbecoming." – Hill-Rod
Unquote: "That's a great suggestion, but what-say we let the uniform code give them a different uniform and decide if that's flattering or unbecoming first?"
Quote: (More on Don't Ask, Don't Tell) "I think the question here is whether somebody is willing to sacrifice for their (sic) country." – Barry O'Bama
Unquote: "Um… OK… well… er… uh… then I think the next question is, sacrifice what?"