Quote – Unquote

Before I get to a new feature we're introducing, I saw this in Newsdaytoday:

"Clinton, Obama skirt queries on gays in the military

And I was wondering how our friends at Social Justice might react to that? I mean do you think Glenn Thrush (giggle) wrote that headline with a straight face? And is it funny or disparaging? Promosexual?

Interestingly, I consulted two dictionaries in an attempt to find some gay gay synonyms – and they didn't offer any.

Now this…

Today we present the first in what will be the biggest, funniest running bit in online history. First you'll get a recent quote (definition for our Miami contingent: 1930s forward) which will be followed immediately or sooner by an "unquote" that clarifies, enhances, and/or rectifies something, which may or may not be the original quote or any part thereof. And as a bonus, I'll leave it to you to speculate who said the unquote, thus adding enormously to your enjoyment. So without further ado, I bid you adieu.

Just kidding.

Quote: “Substance is what makes Edwards stand out from the pack." – Edwards supporter
Unquote: "Exactly, as in, they have it and he doesn't – and that substance itself is unidentified."

Quote: ""We live in a country where more people care about the death of Anna Nicole Smith than the death of a planet" -  Judy Muller
Unquote: "OK, but in their defense, the planet hasn't died yet. When it does, I bet they care more, and the bigger question is, who will do the autopsy, and what will it reveal?"

Quote: (on the proposed Autobahn speed limit) "We’d simply be wrecking the climate at 130km/h (80mph) instead.”- Sigmar Gabriel, the German Environment Minister
Unquote: "Now hold on one second, you 'would be speaking German were it not for us' Kraut, you think wrecking the climate at half the current speed is nothing? And I'd like to apologize for not knowing the metric equivalent of a second."

Quote: “Herr Dimas is disregarding all the facts. Imposing a limit of 100km/h on German motorways would reduce CO2 0.6 per cent.” – Wolfgang Tiefensee, a spokesman for the Transport Minister
Unquote: "HEY, herringhead, a half a percent REDUCTION is HUGE, Wolfpack. I mean Al Gore is merely -offsetting- his emissions, and Hollywood thinks that's the greatest thing since sliced… well…

Now hearkening back to our opening topic:

Quote: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell is not working. I have been against it for many years because I think it does a grave injustice to patriotic Americans who want to serve their country." – Hillary Rodman Clinton.
Unquote: "You bet your pretty little head it does me a grave injustice, I wanna be able to ask if the Nancy-boy next to me is a little light in the combat boots. Oh, and make that 'very little,' willya?"

Quote: "let the uniform code of military justice determine if conduct is inappropriate or unbecoming." – Hill-Rod
Unquote: "That's a great suggestion, but what-say we let the uniform code give them a different uniform and decide if that's flattering or unbecoming first?"

Quote: (More on Don't Ask, Don't Tell) "I think the question here is whether somebody is willing to sacrifice for their (sic) country." – Barry O'Bama
Unquote: "Um… OK… well… er… uh… then I think the next question is, sacrifice what?"

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Quote – Unquote

  1. is it a bad thing for gays to be in the military?I'd take Chris Rock's stance on it."If they wanna fight, let 'em fight, 'cause I ain't fighting."Just a random question, what's with the showtunes tag…lol!Got me laughing…

  2. TedWest says:

    I'm not going to say it's a bad thing, since I'll take anybody as I find him, as long as he's decent. But I think the current policy's just fine since there are many, perhaps the majority, who will never accept homosexuality as normal.
    Showtunes… obviously you're not from around here!!! Gays and showtunes go together like… er… love and marriage.
    And I'm glad at least something got a laugh!

  3. Surrealism says:

    We're gonna hear about Obama for a long time…. elections don't even start for a year+<img src="http://www.barackobamaismyhomeboy.com/images/barackobamahomeboy.gif&quot; width="510" height="426" border="0" /><img src="http://www.barackobamaismyhomegirl.com/images/barackobamahomegirl.gif&quot; width="510" height="426" border="0" />

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s