Mike and Me – A Tree Grows Between Neighbors

This is a tale of neighbors and nerve, and I tell it with hope - that you will realize it may be better to move than to offer to clean up a neighbor's nuisance for him.

Introduction:: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Because mine isn't exactly Fred Rogers if you get my drift. Or Roy Rogers either… Although he does bear a striking resemblance to Trigger's behind. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

And speaking of drift…

If a tree grows in the desert, and there's no one around to see it, can it still make a mess?

You may remember Mike as the guy I talked about before who once had the audacity to invite me to his Christmas Party when all I was doing was standing in my own backyard, minding my own business.

Mike's wife is the little woman I've previously written about whom my own wife once approached in an hour of need. Linda said she'd help, but was conveniently not home at the time she'd told my wife she and her husband would be ready, willing, and able to assist – twice… on successive days. But between friends, who's counting?

The couple does have two very lovely sons – proving that two negatives do, indeed, make a positive.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

This is all about me politely asking Mike to unburden us from a growing nuisance and being heartened because he deigned to entertain my request.

Funny thing about "heartening" though – it's inversely proportional to the length of time between -now- and the point at which the original gesture occurred.

In other words, Mike's first symbolic effort turned out to be his last, best…

But this story's got it all - there's names, phone numbers, several addresses…. and pictures! And best of all, the conclusion isn't even written yet, so stay tuned.

Coming Up…

Chapter One: Day 254, A Neighbor Held Hostage

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About tedwest

A longtime veteran of comedy and political forums, I decided that I needed a more restful venue because... well... I finally hate everybody. Except my wife that is... and my ex-wife.. and... no, that's about it. I lead about as simple a life as one can, preferring activities that include anything that doesn't involve going out and seeing YOU! And I particularly enjoy what I call "Get the Bitch" movies on Lifetime. You know the ones where the intended victim finally does something so incredibly stupid that she forfeits her right to live, and from that moment on you're rooting for the stalker. Of course, it rarely works out the way you want, but when it does, the feeling you get is... well, there's nothing else like it, other than, maybe, eating chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and I'm proudly anti-wildlife, both foreign and domestic, and anti-environment - especially foreign environments. I think Howard Stern put it best when he said, "If fifty percent of the population died tomorrow, I can live with that." And I feel the same about the other fifty percent, so together, we've pretty much got it all covered.
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